1
00:00:00.100 –> 00:00:03.820
Judge. And I’m sorry, I’m going to be the worst judge because I
2
00:00:03.920 –> 00:00:05.500
compare everybody to you, Michelle.
3
00:00:08.040 –> 00:00:08.300
So,
4
00:00:09.180 –> 00:00:13.160
really, I was so excited, and we’re all really working on our stories right now.
5
00:00:13.280 –> 00:00:17.250
So, without any further ado, Michelle, share what you learned and
6
00:00:17.320 –> 00:00:19.750
how you created that Last Story Standing.
7
00:00:20.620 –> 00:00:21.060
Okay.
8
00:00:22.340 –> 00:00:26.260
I am honored, Karen, to share. I feel
9
00:00:26.340 –> 00:00:26.980
like
10
00:00:28.660 –> 00:00:30.690
I regularly get asked
11
00:00:31.520 –> 00:00:34.780
to speak and share on marketing strategy for speakers,
12
00:00:35.380 –> 00:00:39.240
but stories really are the best marketing strategy, in my opinion.
13
00:00:40.000 –> 00:00:43.620
And I didn’t know that at the time, but I
14
00:00:44.720 –> 00:00:47.300
am grateful for the things that I’ve learned about that process.
15
00:00:47.340 –> 00:00:51.160
And even going through the storytelling process has been really valuable.
16
00:00:51.300 –> 00:00:55.000
So I’m curious, those of you who are here, how many of
17
00:00:55.060 –> 00:00:58.540
you have participated in the Last Story Standing competition?
18
00:00:58.580 –> 00:01:02.540
If you are a member of the National Speakers Association, either just through your
19
00:01:02.600 –> 00:01:03.020
chapter
20
00:01:04.220 –> 00:01:04.590
or
21
00:01:05.760 –> 00:01:07.520
something else. Okay, a couple hands.
22
00:01:07.540 –> 00:01:07.910
And if you want-
23
00:01:07.910 –> 00:01:09.260
Put the thumbs up so we can see.
24
00:01:10.200 –> 00:01:13.640
Yes, and you can also type in the chat too, because I pulled up the chat window so
25
00:01:13.700 –> 00:01:14.560
I could see that as well.
26
00:01:17.080 –> 00:01:17.090
I
27
00:01:18.180 –> 00:01:21.680
think that the Last Story Standing competition is great, and one thing that I tell
28
00:01:21.700 –> 00:01:24.500
people in my chapter, and I went and spoke at NSA St.
29
00:01:24.680 –> 00:01:27.750
Louis about stories earlier this year,
30
00:01:28.400 –> 00:01:32.360
and I feel like everyone should compete in the Last Story Standing
31
00:01:32.420 –> 00:01:36.020
competition. Whether you are new or not, every
32
00:01:36.060 –> 00:01:39.420
opportunity that you get to share your story and your
33
00:01:39.520 –> 00:01:42.780
speaking is never wasted. And
34
00:01:43.460 –> 00:01:45.800
it also gives you an opportunity to get some feedback.
35
00:01:45.880 –> 00:01:49.310
So at every level, they give you feedback on your story, and I think that’s
36
00:01:49.340 –> 00:01:53.260
important, but we should never, ever miss an opportunity to speak in front of our
37
00:01:53.360 –> 00:01:57.060
peers. And so that alone, I think is really valuable.
38
00:01:57.600 –> 00:02:01.300
And whether you make it past your chapter or past the region or
39
00:02:01.420 –> 00:02:05.120
whatever, I still feel like it’s so important for us to compete and
40
00:02:05.160 –> 00:02:07.040
share our messages with our peers.
41
00:02:07.080 –> 00:02:10.980
Because that has changed the business for me and having people see my
42
00:02:11.039 –> 00:02:11.310
story.
43
00:02:12.300 –> 00:02:15.220
I hate Zoom because sometimes it doesn’t let me move forward.
44
00:02:15.240 –> 00:02:18.740
But I’m going to tell you that story now, and I’m going to tell you live the
45
00:02:18.800 –> 00:02:22.680
story that I told that got me to the national stage.
46
00:02:23.320 –> 00:02:26.600
And while I tell this story, though I don’t usually get the opportunity
47
00:02:26.700 –> 00:02:30.210
to have people critique my story along the way,
48
00:02:30.880 –> 00:02:33.160
I want you to listen to the story, and I want you to listen for two things.
49
00:02:33.280 –> 00:02:36.320
The first is, I want you to listen to
50
00:02:37.180 –> 00:02:41.160
the levels. Watch the different ways that the levels happen in this
51
00:02:41.180 –> 00:02:44.280
story, and the second is, I want you to
52
00:02:44.540 –> 00:02:48.340
identify any feelings that
53
00:02:48.420 –> 00:02:52.170
you feel like someone would feel listening to this
54
00:02:52.180 –> 00:02:53.860
story, whether you would feel them or not.
55
00:02:53.920 –> 00:02:57.560
Everyone feels things differently, but I want you to identify a couple of feelings.
56
00:02:58.560 –> 00:02:58.800
So,
57
00:03:01.360 –> 00:03:02.040
here it goes.
58
00:03:04.340 –> 00:03:08.280
When my husband and I first met, we met at a statistics class in
59
00:03:08.360 –> 00:03:10.620
college. Aw. What are the odds?
60
00:03:11.480 –> 00:03:14.920
When we got married, we moved into a cute little cookie-cutter starter home
61
00:03:14.940 –> 00:03:16.850
community that you can see right here.
62
00:03:16.920 –> 00:03:20.480
All the homes were exactly the same, three beds, two baths.
63
00:03:20.500 –> 00:03:24.160
It was a simple and easy time. When you went to your neighbor’s house, you knew
64
00:03:24.260 –> 00:03:26.180
exactly where the bathroom was.
65
00:03:27.520 –> 00:03:28.940
It was actually the time of our life.
66
00:03:28.980 –> 00:03:32.760
There were lots of young couples just like us, some with one or two kids, and they
67
00:03:32.800 –> 00:03:34.960
just enveloped us into their social circles.
68
00:03:35.480 –> 00:03:39.240
We had date nights out and game nights in, and craft nights and stamp nights, and
69
00:03:39.280 –> 00:03:43.100
we even brought our junk into one yard each year, where we held
70
00:03:43.160 –> 00:03:47.040
our annual yard sale. We put signs up and ads in the yellow
71
00:03:47.120 –> 00:03:48.720
pages and newspapers,
72
00:03:50.080 –> 00:03:53.360
but basically, we just bought each other’s stuff and took it home.
73
00:03:53.700 –> 00:03:56.300
As they say, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
74
00:03:57.200 –> 00:04:01.080
Over time, our friends started having more and more kids, and
75
00:04:01.120 –> 00:04:04.820
they became less and less fun. My husband and I stayed
76
00:04:04.880 –> 00:04:08.420
DINKs, dual income, no kids, for about four
77
00:04:08.520 –> 00:04:11.460
years. And at about that same time, two things happened.
78
00:04:11.800 –> 00:04:15.120
The first is the family across the street from us
79
00:04:15.180 –> 00:04:19.050
moves. And my husband and I literally prayed that a young couple just
80
00:04:19.079 –> 00:04:22.520
like us with no kids would move in across the street.
81
00:04:23.670 –> 00:04:26.540
The second is that I just got a promotion at work.
82
00:04:27.100 –> 00:04:30.890
I was moved from being a sales rep to being the sales trainer on our sales
83
00:04:30.960 –> 00:04:34.070
floor, and I was responsible for the sales training and
84
00:04:34.120 –> 00:04:37.340
onboarding for over 90 sales reps.
85
00:04:37.380 –> 00:04:40.680
While these two things collided, a third thing actually
86
00:04:40.760 –> 00:04:44.140
happened. One day, I was out to lunch with a friend, and I get a phone call from my
87
00:04:44.180 –> 00:04:44.580
husband,
88
00:04:45.940 –> 00:04:49.580
which was weird, because he knew where I was, and he didn’t typically call me when
89
00:04:49.700 –> 00:04:53.300
I was out. But I answer and say hello. He does not say hello.
90
00:04:53.400 –> 00:04:55.780
He says, “I have good news and bad news.”
91
00:04:56.680 –> 00:04:57.300
I say, “Okay.”
92
00:04:58.300 –> 00:05:02.180
He said, “The good news is, is the moving van just showed up, and there’s a
93
00:05:02.240 –> 00:05:06.020
young couple just like us with no kids moving in across the street.”
94
00:05:06.460 –> 00:05:10.440
Yes. I sat in a state of euphoria for
95
00:05:10.480 –> 00:05:14.400
just a moment. I dreamed of fun times ahead, those date nights, and
96
00:05:14.440 –> 00:05:18.420
maybe even a vacation, when I felt that glimmer of gloom, and I remembered
97
00:05:18.440 –> 00:05:21.140
what he said first, and I said, “Wait, what’s the bad news?”
98
00:05:22.100 –> 00:05:22.560
He said,
99
00:05:23.780 –> 00:05:24.980
“It’s your ex-husband
100
00:05:26.380 –> 00:05:28.720
and his new wife.”
101
00:05:30.460 –> 00:05:33.880
So perhaps this is the point in the story where I tell you I was married before.
102
00:05:34.140 –> 00:05:37.540
Some people have starter homes. I had a starter husband.
103
00:05:38.520 –> 00:05:41.540
And I sat there for a moment trying to figure out what to do.
104
00:05:41.600 –> 00:05:45.420
I’m sitting at lunch with my friend, and I did what any normal human would
105
00:05:45.480 –> 00:05:47.500
do. We finished lunch. We went home.
106
00:05:47.980 –> 00:05:49.660
I grabbed a chair from the living room window.
107
00:05:49.820 –> 00:05:53.810
I plopped it down in front of the front room, and I grabbed a chair from
108
00:05:53.820 –> 00:05:57.680
the kitchen table. I took it to the front living room window, and I sat down and
109
00:05:57.760 –> 00:05:59.300
lifted the blinds ever so slightly.
110
00:06:00.380 –> 00:06:03.990
I sat there for two daysI’m not saying it was healthy,
111
00:06:04.080 –> 00:06:08.000
and yes, I ate and slept and went to work the one day
112
00:06:08.040 –> 00:06:11.730
that I had to, but first, I had to make sure it was
113
00:06:11.780 –> 00:06:15.720
him. It was. And then I had to see her.
114
00:06:15.840 –> 00:06:16.260
I’m human.
115
00:06:17.540 –> 00:06:21.510
And then I could not pull myself away from the train wreck that was happening
116
00:06:21.580 –> 00:06:23.060
outside my front door.
117
00:06:24.000 –> 00:06:26.920
I had so many questions. Maybe you have some questions.
118
00:06:27.020 –> 00:06:28.900
Allow me an opportunity to answer them for you.
119
00:06:29.680 –> 00:06:33.640
No, he had no idea where I lived, or he
120
00:06:33.680 –> 00:06:37.420
would not have moved there. Yes, I did look up the odds.
121
00:06:37.580 –> 00:06:39.820
It’s one in 300,000.
122
00:06:41.180 –> 00:06:44.640
No, we did not become couple BFFs and have date night, game night.
123
00:06:45.620 –> 00:06:49.280
And five, we lived across the street from each other
124
00:06:49.360 –> 00:06:51.680
for five years.
125
00:06:55.380 –> 00:06:59.280
As time went on, it was more dramatic in my head than it actually
126
00:06:59.320 –> 00:07:03.129
played out in real life. But I remember about three years
127
00:07:03.260 –> 00:07:05.150
in, my husband says to me,
128
00:07:06.090 –> 00:07:06.840
“You know, I forget
129
00:07:09.100 –> 00:07:12.460
that that’s your ex-husband that lives across the street.”
130
00:07:14.680 –> 00:07:17.630
I took a deep breath and I said, “I remember every day.
131
00:07:18.500 –> 00:07:22.380
And not only do I remember that Courtney lives there with his wife,
132
00:07:23.380 –> 00:07:24.600
but I remember the heartache.
133
00:07:26.280 –> 00:07:28.660
I remember the nights I cried myself to sleep.
134
00:07:30.280 –> 00:07:31.890
I remember being married
135
00:07:32.800 –> 00:07:35.120
and feeling totally alone.
136
00:07:36.700 –> 00:07:39.920
I also remember telling myself, ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
137
00:07:39.980 –> 00:07:42.090
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
138
00:07:42.140 –> 00:07:45.620
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.’”
139
00:07:46.260 –> 00:07:49.780
Now, I don’t know what your metaphorical ex-husband is.
140
00:07:50.380 –> 00:07:53.760
The great equalizer for all of us is that we all have challenges.
141
00:07:54.880 –> 00:07:58.840
The opportunity for us is to be thinking about how we want to
142
00:07:58.880 –> 00:08:01.430
grow, become, and develop through the process.
143
00:08:02.240 –> 00:08:06.160
I would pray for you in your challenges, but my prayers turn out
144
00:08:06.260 –> 00:08:06.620
weird.
145
00:08:08.000 –> 00:08:11.640
What I can say is that happiness is possible, and our
146
00:08:11.680 –> 00:08:15.600
emotional intelligence gives us the opportunity that even in some of our
147
00:08:15.640 –> 00:08:19.460
darkest, hardest memories, that we can still figure out how to
148
00:08:19.500 –> 00:08:23.220
thrive at work, at home, and in the relationships that matter
149
00:08:23.260 –> 00:08:23.619
most.
150
00:08:25.960 –> 00:08:26.920
Now, I’m going to cut that right there.
151
00:08:27.020 –> 00:08:30.720
Typically, I would go into more things in my keynote, but that is the story.
152
00:08:30.750 –> 00:08:34.500
And I took a little bit more time than I would typically do in a Last Story
153
00:08:34.620 –> 00:08:37.410
Standing because there are some other elements that I share when I’m speaking,
154
00:08:37.880 –> 00:08:40.961
because I do talk about emotional intelligence in the workplace, and I do have to
155
00:08:40.980 –> 00:08:44.140
drop that I have a corporate job in the middle of that story.
156
00:08:44.720 –> 00:08:48.540
But before we go on to anything else, I want to go back to those two questions that
157
00:08:48.660 –> 00:08:52.380
I asked. And the first is, what levels did you notice?
158
00:08:58.080 –> 00:09:01.380
And you can unmute yourself, so this can be a dynamic conversation.
159
00:09:01.420 –> 00:09:04.050
Or if you’d rather put it in the chat, you’re welcome to do that too.
160
00:09:05.340 –> 00:09:06.660
Are you going to show any more slides?
161
00:09:07.360 –> 00:09:08.300
Yes, but I can stop-
162
00:09:08.320 –> 00:09:08.330
Okay
163
00:09:08.330 –> 00:09:09.000
… sharing for a minute.
164
00:09:09.480 –> 00:09:09.860
Okay.
165
00:09:11.060 –> 00:09:14.240
I noticed a level in your tone. You were very happy.
166
00:09:14.360 –> 00:09:17.900
So I would say tone and energy. Very happy when you were talking about the
167
00:09:17.960 –> 00:09:21.940
beginning of living in the community, and the yard sales, and all
168
00:09:21.980 –> 00:09:25.580
the things that you did together. And then the energy
169
00:09:25.780 –> 00:09:29.160
definitely shifted when you got that phone
170
00:09:29.220 –> 00:09:29.840
call.
171
00:09:31.540 –> 00:09:35.120
Thank you. Good notice. And there’s no right or wrong answer to this,
172
00:09:35.560 –> 00:09:38.120
because one of the pieces that we’re going to talk about when it comes to story,
173
00:09:39.220 –> 00:09:42.420
is about how different people perceive different stories, and how you need to be
174
00:09:42.480 –> 00:09:45.640
mindful of what that looks like. But there’s really no right or wrong answer, so
175
00:09:45.680 –> 00:09:49.570
don’t feel like I’m going to say, “Ding, that’s on my list.” But what are
176
00:09:49.600 –> 00:09:51.690
other levels? Did anybody notice any other levels?
177
00:09:53.340 –> 00:09:54.560
What do you mean by levels?
178
00:09:55.420 –> 00:09:56.880
That’s part of the question.
179
00:09:57.790 –> 00:09:57.790
Okay.
180
00:09:57.860 –> 00:10:01.760
So it could be levels in how emotions came up. It could be levels in tone.
181
00:10:01.860 –> 00:10:03.720
It could be levels in something else.
182
00:10:03.760 –> 00:10:06.620
Or if you’re like, “Nope, I really didn’t notice any levels, Michelle, you should
183
00:10:06.680 –> 00:10:08.260
work harder,” I’m fine with that, too.
184
00:10:09.260 –> 00:10:09.700
Yes, Carl?
185
00:10:11.240 –> 00:10:12.760
Yeah, definitely noticed some levels
186
00:10:14.020 –> 00:10:15.680
in the speed that you spoke.
187
00:10:16.740 –> 00:10:18.760
Also noticed some levels in vulnerability-
188
00:10:19.939 –> 00:10:20.140
Oh
189
00:10:20.680 –> 00:10:21.770
… and relatability,
190
00:10:23.260 –> 00:10:25.040
and probably several other levels.
191
00:10:26.160 –> 00:10:30.020
I’m sure one was coming was some expertise levels, where you talked about,
192
00:10:30.120 –> 00:10:31.720
as you said, your expertise.
193
00:10:33.380 –> 00:10:35.470
Okay, awesome. Good points. Thanks, Carl. Patty?
194
00:10:36.640 –> 00:10:40.350
I love when you said you went to get the kitchen chair, and you sat by the window.
195
00:10:40.680 –> 00:10:43.980
Your level of voice went up, and we all were like, “Oh, we’re in this with her
196
00:10:44.020 –> 00:10:47.000
together. We’re gonna just stalk them.”
197
00:10:47.860 –> 00:10:48.560
It was awesome.
198
00:10:49.380 –> 00:10:53.150
Right. And there are parts where I was mature and parts where I was immature, and
199
00:10:53.200 –> 00:10:57.000
that’s okay, too. And I even say things like, “I did what any normal
200
00:10:57.009 –> 00:11:00.670
person would do,” which is also me freaking out, and
201
00:11:00.700 –> 00:11:04.060
without saying, “Me freaking out.” So yes, I like that.
202
00:11:05.180 –> 00:11:07.100
Yeah, Gladys Kravitz, “crickets,” that’s funny.
203
00:11:07.540 –> 00:11:08.520
Karen, were you going to say something?
204
00:11:08.740 –> 00:11:12.670
I like the levels where sometimes you were the storyteller, and then
205
00:11:12.670 –> 00:11:15.360
sometimes you were looking at it from afar.
206
00:11:15.500 –> 00:11:18.720
So when you said, “So at this point in the story,” so then you became the
207
00:11:18.740 –> 00:11:22.430
narrator. And then I loved it when you said, “So I’m answering your
208
00:11:22.520 –> 00:11:24.500
questions.” I love the way you took
209
00:11:25.720 –> 00:11:26.570
this creation,
210
00:11:27.520 –> 00:11:30.940
and you made different levels, I guess, of how you
211
00:11:31.000 –> 00:11:31.720
presented it.
212
00:11:33.180 –> 00:11:36.140
Okay, thank you. Any other thoughts on that before we go to emotions?
213
00:11:37.540 –> 00:11:41.460
I’d love for you to share some emotions that you feel like someone
214
00:11:41.540 –> 00:11:45.110
might feel in hearing the story, even if you didn’t personally feel them
215
00:11:45.160 –> 00:11:45.600
yourself.
216
00:11:49.480 –> 00:11:53.400
Well, there were a lot of emotions there at the end, when you really said that,
217
00:11:53.780 –> 00:11:57.760
after three years, and you remembered all of the things that
218
00:11:57.800 –> 00:12:00.620
happened in your marriage. So you really touched on a lot of emotions
219
00:12:00.720 –> 00:12:02.340
there. Yeah.
220
00:12:03.144 –> 00:12:03.704
It was good
221
00:12:04.444 –> 00:12:04.824
Sylvia?
222
00:12:05.564 –> 00:12:08.914
Yeah, and I think that you touched on it in a way that people can
223
00:12:08.944 –> 00:12:12.504
relate to their own situations of heartache
224
00:12:12.584 –> 00:12:15.984
and being connected and yet feeling isolated, right?
225
00:12:16.084 –> 00:12:20.034
You did it in a way where we didn’t have to be married and alone to relate to what
226
00:12:20.084 –> 00:12:20.644
you were saying.
227
00:12:21.524 –> 00:12:22.374
Which I
228
00:12:23.404 –> 00:12:26.494
appreciate you bringing that up, because whether we get the chance to talk about
229
00:12:26.544 –> 00:12:28.584
that today in great detail or not,
230
00:12:29.424 –> 00:12:33.214
over the course of me watching the Last Storytelling competition and
231
00:12:33.264 –> 00:12:37.134
also having the opportunity to judge a couple and just being
232
00:12:37.164 –> 00:12:40.784
part of it in our chapter for the last four years.
233
00:12:40.944 –> 00:12:42.644
It started in our chapter with Mike Bryan.
234
00:12:42.884 –> 00:12:46.804
So we did it for one year prior before everyone else did it, and so
235
00:12:46.844 –> 00:12:49.604
it’s been interesting to watch the evolution of the program as well.
236
00:12:49.684 –> 00:12:53.584
But one of the biggest pitfalls I see is that people have these
237
00:12:53.684 –> 00:12:57.474
big stories. They have big stories in their life, and that’s not a
238
00:12:57.504 –> 00:13:00.724
pitfall in and of itself, but they never take a moment of
239
00:13:00.764 –> 00:13:04.424
relatability to make someone else put themselves in the story,
240
00:13:04.604 –> 00:13:08.044
even if they can’t. And so if you have a really, really big story
241
00:13:08.624 –> 00:13:09.384
and– I
242
00:13:10.824 –> 00:13:11.804
use two examples.
243
00:13:12.784 –> 00:13:16.344
One is climbing Mount Everest. If you’ve climbed Mount Everest, you have to
244
00:13:16.484 –> 00:13:19.764
really help someone else understand what that feels like, because if they haven’t,
245
00:13:20.134 –> 00:13:23.904
they don’t know what that is. But it’s not just understanding what that
246
00:13:23.944 –> 00:13:27.154
feels like, it’s helping them relate to that, because they might not even relate to
247
00:13:27.184 –> 00:13:31.164
what that means. And so I had to be very, very intentional about
248
00:13:31.224 –> 00:13:34.864
saying something like, “I don’t know what your metaphorical ex-husband
249
00:13:34.964 –> 00:13:38.794
is.” The great equalizer for all of us is that we all have challenges,
250
00:13:39.204 –> 00:13:42.824
and it gave people the opportunity to then say, “Oh yeah, I have a challenge, even
251
00:13:42.844 –> 00:13:46.434
if I’ve never had an ex-husband,” or, “Even if I’ve never had a spouse move in
252
00:13:46.464 –> 00:13:49.844
across the street.” And so that moment of that statement of
253
00:13:49.864 –> 00:13:53.764
relatability where you choose to say, “Okay, how do I bring people in?”
254
00:13:53.804 –> 00:13:56.924
That is important as well. So yes, thank you for that.
255
00:13:57.284 –> 00:13:59.644
Any other thoughts on emotions that you feel like, Cricket?
256
00:13:59.964 –> 00:14:03.424
Well, I was just thinking, I thought you kind of ran the gamut of the emotions.
257
00:14:03.464 –> 00:14:05.564
You started out happy. You talked about community.
258
00:14:05.624 –> 00:14:08.844
You built all this heart, soul, loving, relationship,
259
00:14:09.204 –> 00:14:12.804
kumbaya moment. And the minute you said it was my ex-husband, I went, “Oh, hell
260
00:14:12.884 –> 00:14:15.224
no.” And I’m sure everybody in the audience did too.
261
00:14:15.304 –> 00:14:19.124
Like, “What?” And I’m still on my starter husband, just to be clear, but I
262
00:14:19.164 –> 00:14:19.553
could think-
263
00:14:19.574 –> 00:14:19.574
Still saying
264
00:14:19.574 –> 00:14:23.264
… of it being, who would I not want to live across the street from, right?
265
00:14:23.824 –> 00:14:23.954
Mm-hmm.
266
00:14:23.954 –> 00:14:27.084
And so then I immediately went into defense mode with you and for you.
267
00:14:28.084 –> 00:14:28.484
Thank you.
268
00:14:28.684 –> 00:14:29.884
I was like, “What’s she going to do?
269
00:14:29.924 –> 00:14:33.704
Well, how do we…” So it brought out different, even though you were going through
270
00:14:33.744 –> 00:14:37.544
emotions, the mama bear in me was like, “What is she doing to get through
271
00:14:37.644 –> 00:14:41.594
this? How are we protecting her? How does she stay?” And so it just
272
00:14:41.624 –> 00:14:45.034
went all the way through, and I thought you did a great job in a short time of
273
00:14:45.124 –> 00:14:48.724
touching on so many levels of emotion.
274
00:14:48.804 –> 00:14:52.664
Awesome. Any other thoughts on emotions before we go on to the next
275
00:14:52.704 –> 00:14:53.064
piece?
276
00:14:54.964 –> 00:14:58.673
Okay. I have us spend a little time on emotions because I
277
00:14:58.744 –> 00:15:02.424
also think that is one of the best places to spend time in
278
00:15:02.504 –> 00:15:03.824
evaluating
279
00:15:05.124 –> 00:15:08.164
your story, because that’s ultimately what a story does.
280
00:15:08.304 –> 00:15:11.024
A story helps people to feel different emotions.
281
00:15:11.484 –> 00:15:14.574
I’m going to leave the side tab on for a minute because we were having some issues
282
00:15:14.584 –> 00:15:18.524
getting it to go forward, but I want to go here for a
283
00:15:18.564 –> 00:15:22.364
second. And I want to still get some feedback and get your thoughts, so feel
284
00:15:22.404 –> 00:15:26.344
free to unmute or pop it into the chat, but what makes a good story
285
00:15:26.384 –> 00:15:30.354
good? Like when people are saying, “That is a good story,” and you don’t have
286
00:15:30.384 –> 00:15:33.714
to talk about my story, but in general, what are the things that you would say
287
00:15:33.884 –> 00:15:35.494
makes a good story good?
288
00:15:36.724 –> 00:15:39.704
That it’s relatable, and the speaker is able
289
00:15:39.964 –> 00:15:43.404
to turn it back to the audience as you
290
00:15:43.444 –> 00:15:47.134
did and make it personal to them. So it’s not the speaker’s
291
00:15:47.204 –> 00:15:49.344
story, it’s everyone’s story.
292
00:15:49.404 –> 00:15:52.104
Okay. Making it relatable. I love that. Thank you, Ava.
293
00:15:55.524 –> 00:15:57.684
I think having some sort of suspense as well.
294
00:15:58.424 –> 00:16:02.414
We need to not know the whole journey so we’re with you through
295
00:16:02.464 –> 00:16:03.984
the ups and downs.
296
00:16:04.044 –> 00:16:07.984
Yeah, some suspense can be great. Curiosity, knowing where a story
297
00:16:08.024 –> 00:16:11.344
might go and wondering what that looks like, allowing people to let their brains go
298
00:16:11.384 –> 00:16:14.524
in different places. What else? What makes a good story good?
299
00:16:23.523 –> 00:16:24.564
I think a good story
300
00:16:26.124 –> 00:16:29.754
transports you somewhere. If it takes you there to
301
00:16:30.504 –> 00:16:34.384
the story, or if it takes you to a flashback to something similar, but
302
00:16:34.444 –> 00:16:38.024
that it will transport you. It’ll take you from somewhere different.
303
00:16:39.264 –> 00:16:41.163
Yeah, great ideas. I love all of that.
304
00:16:42.184 –> 00:16:45.874
Over the course of my time as a professional speaker, I have had
305
00:16:45.874 –> 00:16:49.684
different people say different things, and these are the top.
306
00:16:49.964 –> 00:16:53.264
Many of the things that you shared, but these are the top answers that people say
307
00:16:53.784 –> 00:16:57.684
are what makes a good story good. The making it personal,
308
00:16:57.804 –> 00:17:01.684
having an application that you mentioned, wondering where it goes,
309
00:17:02.064 –> 00:17:05.624
grabs attention, curiosity, good character development,
310
00:17:06.264 –> 00:17:09.494
and also enough detail, but not too much detail, and it depends on who you’re
311
00:17:09.524 –> 00:17:11.684
talking to about what that looks like.
312
00:17:11.785 –> 00:17:15.704
I don’t think that you have to have humor for a good story to be good, but
313
00:17:15.764 –> 00:17:18.444
some people do think a good story is going to be good.
314
00:17:18.464 –> 00:17:22.234
And when I talk about my experience in the Last
315
00:17:22.305 –> 00:17:23.484
Story Standing competition,
316
00:17:24.785 –> 00:17:28.464
it was the first year that they had ever done the top three on stage at
317
00:17:28.504 –> 00:17:31.524
Influence. And if you were there, you already know, but
318
00:17:31.544 –> 00:17:33.284
#spoileralert, I didn’t win.
319
00:17:35.324 –> 00:17:38.164
Jeff Rogers won, and he did a great job, and I don’t
320
00:17:40.024 –> 00:17:42.744
feel like I deserved to win at all. He did wonderful.
321
00:17:43.264 –> 00:17:47.234
It was a great experience, and honestly, my only goal was to be able
322
00:17:47.284 –> 00:17:50.424
to share my story on the main stage. My goal was not to win.
323
00:17:50.444 –> 00:17:53.294
And people would talk to me like, “Why don’t you want to win?” I’m like, “Here’s
324
00:17:53.384 –> 00:17:57.254
why.” And when you have Mike Bryan, who’s the one who created the storytelling
325
00:17:57.324 –> 00:18:00.304
competition in your chapter, he just kept saying to me, “Michelle, come on.
326
00:18:00.364 –> 00:18:01.694
Can you please just win this thing?
327
00:18:02.064 –> 00:18:05.664
Can you please just win it?” And I kept saying to Mike, “Mike, what I need you to
328
00:18:05.824 –> 00:18:09.374
say is, while I appreciate the sentiment of what you’re sharing,
329
00:18:10.164 –> 00:18:13.972
stories are so subjective.”And stories
330
00:18:14.072 –> 00:18:17.472
are like, some people like my story and some people didn’t.
331
00:18:17.552 –> 00:18:19.912
Some people thought it was the best story in the room, and some people were like,
332
00:18:20.321 –> 00:18:24.272
“You did good, but I really liked Jeff’s story.” And that’s totally
333
00:18:24.312 –> 00:18:27.832
fine because good stories, even great
334
00:18:27.892 –> 00:18:31.612
stories that make it on the national stage, are subjective.
335
00:18:31.652 –> 00:18:34.992
And I saw this firsthand last year, sitting,
336
00:18:35.392 –> 00:18:39.342
watching the three people compete in 2025, and I wasn’t on stage, and it was
337
00:18:39.392 –> 00:18:42.252
so nice to just sit and enjoy stories.
338
00:18:42.292 –> 00:18:46.112
And the man next to me, who is a man in my chapter, he was like, “Oh my
339
00:18:46.152 –> 00:18:50.032
gosh. That was the best story I have ever heard in my whole life.
340
00:18:50.132 –> 00:18:54.112
It was so great.” And I was like, “Oh, that was only okay.” And not
341
00:18:54.132 –> 00:18:57.732
that it was– it wasn’t bad. It was a great story, and I felt like it was awesome.
342
00:18:57.772 –> 00:19:01.012
But I was like, “Oh, I liked this other one better.” And so it was good for me to
343
00:19:01.072 –> 00:19:04.652
see firsthand how even two people having the exact same
344
00:19:04.662 –> 00:19:08.472
experience, sitting in the exact same room, where one person could say,
345
00:19:08.692 –> 00:19:11.692
“This story was better than that story,” or, “That story was better than this
346
00:19:11.732 –> 00:19:15.632
story.” And so because stories are so subjective and
347
00:19:15.712 –> 00:19:19.162
because you could go through all of these processes to figure
348
00:19:19.252 –> 00:19:23.042
out how you want to create a story or
349
00:19:23.072 –> 00:19:26.702
making the best story ever, at the end of the day, that’s why I think story
350
00:19:26.812 –> 00:19:30.782
development is so important. Because if you are telling a story that
351
00:19:30.812 –> 00:19:34.692
you think accomplishes a task, but it actually is accomplishing a different
352
00:19:34.702 –> 00:19:37.902
task, that’s good for you to know. Sometimes our lived
353
00:19:37.972 –> 00:19:41.822
experiences are really hard for us to translate into
354
00:19:41.832 –> 00:19:45.792
messages for other people, because the lessons that we learned may
355
00:19:45.892 –> 00:19:49.042
be different than the lessons that they would need to learn by hearing it.
356
00:19:49.612 –> 00:19:53.592
And so we’re going to talk about what I think to be the most important part of a
357
00:19:53.672 –> 00:19:56.992
story, which is actually different than what most people share.
358
00:19:57.212 –> 00:20:01.052
When I’ve sat in storytelling workshops, they will say,
359
00:20:01.242 –> 00:20:05.042
“This is the most important part of the story,” and what I say is
360
00:20:05.112 –> 00:20:08.272
actually different. Does anybody have any thoughts about what they think makes a
361
00:20:08.332 –> 00:20:12.232
story the best and that isn’t on this list that we
362
00:20:12.332 –> 00:20:14.292
haven’t talked about that you feel like is really important?
363
00:20:14.512 –> 00:20:18.402
Patty shared in the chat, “Usually a good story makes me smile because
364
00:20:18.472 –> 00:20:19.402
I’m with the speaker.”
365
00:20:20.612 –> 00:20:23.091
I love that. One of my favorites is when I see people nod.
366
00:20:24.012 –> 00:20:27.352
Whether I’m giving my keynote or giving my story, somebody just nodding-
367
00:20:27.802 –> 00:20:27.822
Look for the nods
368
00:20:27.822 –> 00:20:30.652
… involuntarily is one of my favorite things.
369
00:20:31.412 –> 00:20:32.202
But any other thoughts
370
00:20:33.572 –> 00:20:35.892
about what makes a good story good before we go on, or something that’s really
371
00:20:35.932 –> 00:20:36.652
important to you?
372
00:20:39.552 –> 00:20:40.072
Yes, Carl.
373
00:20:40.832 –> 00:20:44.552
Yeah. I would just say, this is a wide-open question, but
374
00:20:44.952 –> 00:20:48.412
a story that builds and surprises you or
375
00:20:49.892 –> 00:20:53.852
gives you a different perspective and maybe even a
376
00:20:53.892 –> 00:20:55.732
shock.
377
00:20:56.792 –> 00:20:57.892
Yeah, I love that.
378
00:20:59.032 –> 00:21:02.992
Okay. Before I tell you the answer to that question for me, I’m actually going to
379
00:21:03.032 –> 00:21:05.172
tell you one more story. And I’m going to tell it-
380
00:21:05.182 –> 00:21:08.012
Jill, can I add one thing before you move to another story?
381
00:21:08.022 –> 00:21:10.912
Please do, and if you raise your hand, I’m sorry, I can’t see everybody at the same
382
00:21:10.932 –> 00:21:11.592
time. Go ahead, Ava.
383
00:21:11.752 –> 00:21:15.672
Oh, okay. Yeah, I did. But I also think in the
384
00:21:15.692 –> 00:21:19.652
context of a keynote, a story needs to be either make a point or be tied
385
00:21:19.692 –> 00:21:23.652
to a point. Because I’ve seen people they tell a great story, but
386
00:21:23.692 –> 00:21:27.492
it’s like, “And what does this have to do with what you’re talking
387
00:21:27.572 –> 00:21:31.272
about?” So, it’s either making a point or tying it to a point.
388
00:21:31.812 –> 00:21:35.502
100%. I couldn’t agree more because I see lots of people tell stories,
389
00:21:35.892 –> 00:21:39.632
and then they go on to their points, and their story had nothing to do with the
390
00:21:39.672 –> 00:21:40.091
points.
391
00:21:40.572 –> 00:21:40.582
Mm-hmm.
392
00:21:40.592 –> 00:21:44.392
And that’s one of the things that I think is really important, too, because
393
00:21:44.472 –> 00:21:48.452
sometimes we think the point is obvious, but with an entirely
394
00:21:48.492 –> 00:21:52.292
different person having entirely different lived experiences, they might not take
395
00:21:52.332 –> 00:21:55.982
the same point away. And there are also some stories that have
396
00:21:56.012 –> 00:21:59.912
multiple points. And so if you want to be able to help someone
397
00:22:00.072 –> 00:22:03.852
land the plane of your story, then you truly do need to be the one to say,
398
00:22:03.992 –> 00:22:05.692
“This is why this story is important.”
399
00:22:05.772 –> 00:22:06.092
Mm-hmm.
400
00:22:06.142 –> 00:22:09.242
And sometimes I have stories that have multiple takeaways.
401
00:22:09.332 –> 00:22:11.312
That other story has multiple takeaways
402
00:22:12.132 –> 00:22:16.112
that could be, but I really want people to think about the one that matters most
403
00:22:16.121 –> 00:22:19.972
for me. And I can actually tell that story in four different
404
00:22:20.012 –> 00:22:23.472
settings with different topics and make the
405
00:22:23.532 –> 00:22:27.472
takeaway important as well. So make sure that you do have a
406
00:22:27.572 –> 00:22:31.271
reason why you tell the story and that you make it fairly obvious to the
407
00:22:31.332 –> 00:22:33.172
audience about why that story is good.
408
00:22:33.212 –> 00:22:37.132
And there are different people who say you should only have one point to every
409
00:22:37.172 –> 00:22:37.472
story.
410
00:22:38.372 –> 00:22:42.252
And I think it’s okay if you have two, but I would never have three.
411
00:22:42.312 –> 00:22:45.712
I would never say, “Here are the 45 takeaways from this one
412
00:22:45.732 –> 00:22:49.612
story.” Because the purpose of your speech should also support it.
413
00:22:49.642 –> 00:22:53.362
I think a story supports the content of your speech as well, if we’re
414
00:22:53.372 –> 00:22:56.112
talking about inserting your stories into your keynote.
415
00:22:56.132 –> 00:22:59.832
But I do feel like it’s important for you to be able to say, give them one,
416
00:22:59.892 –> 00:23:03.442
maybe two things. Sometimes I will say, “One thing that I’ve learned about this
417
00:23:03.492 –> 00:23:06.232
story is that God has a sense of humor.
418
00:23:06.352 –> 00:23:10.062
But the true takeaway from this story to me is this.”
419
00:23:10.932 –> 00:23:14.502
Because you want people to go where you want them to go or else the rest of your
420
00:23:14.552 –> 00:23:17.912
speech won’t land. Now, if you’re just telling a story for a story’s sake, and it’s
421
00:23:17.992 –> 00:23:20.261
just a storytelling competition, sometimes you don’t.
422
00:23:20.272 –> 00:23:23.522
But actually, in the National Speakers Association, if you’re telling a story,
423
00:23:23.572 –> 00:23:26.452
purpose and impact is one of the things that you’re judged on.
424
00:23:26.832 –> 00:23:29.852
And we had a storytelling competition in our chapter.
425
00:23:30.032 –> 00:23:31.652
We just did it, and I was one of the judges.
426
00:23:32.092 –> 00:23:34.752
And there were two people who just told a story, and then they were done.
427
00:23:34.852 –> 00:23:37.442
There was no takeaway. There was no anything.
428
00:23:37.512 –> 00:23:41.362
And it was a great story, but I still have to check something in the box on
429
00:23:41.392 –> 00:23:45.202
purpose and impact. So I still think purpose and
430
00:23:45.232 –> 00:23:47.761
impact is important, too. Any other thoughts before we go on?
431
00:23:47.852 –> 00:23:50.692
If I missed any hands, I’m sorry. I’ve just changed the way I can see everything so
432
00:23:50.772 –> 00:23:53.732
I can see everyone who’s here. Okay,
433
00:23:53.812 –> 00:23:57.512
good. So for this story, I need to take you back to
434
00:23:57.632 –> 00:23:58.592
long before
435
00:23:59.412 –> 00:24:03.132
I was married the second time. I get a phone call from my dad one day, and he
436
00:24:03.172 –> 00:24:07.160
says, “Do you want to go to Disneyland?”Now, there are two kinds of
437
00:24:07.200 –> 00:24:10.820
people in this world, those who love Disneyland and those who
438
00:24:11.020 –> 00:24:13.440
judge you for how much you love Disneyland.
439
00:24:13.450 –> 00:24:17.200
There really are no in-betweens. And I happen to be a person who
440
00:24:17.340 –> 00:24:20.860
loves Disneyland, and my dad knew that when he gave me the call.
441
00:24:21.500 –> 00:24:25.300
But what I also knew was that even though I was 23
442
00:24:25.420 –> 00:24:29.280
and he was in his 50s, he wasn’t just calling to say,
443
00:24:29.370 –> 00:24:33.170
“Hey, let’s go to Disneyland.” He was calling me to say, “Can you come
444
00:24:33.200 –> 00:24:36.800
please be an extra set of hands?” He was on his third
445
00:24:36.860 –> 00:24:37.800
marriage, and he
446
00:24:38.740 –> 00:24:41.800
and his wife had a six-year-old and three
447
00:24:42.100 –> 00:24:42.840
four-year-olds,
448
00:24:43.640 –> 00:24:44.140
triplets.
449
00:24:45.340 –> 00:24:49.140
And so his invitation was more like a babysitting job.
450
00:24:49.620 –> 00:24:53.380
And yet, because I love my siblings and I love my dad and I
451
00:24:53.480 –> 00:24:56.140
love Disneyland, I said yes right away.
452
00:24:56.940 –> 00:25:00.210
Now, the other thing that you should probably know about my dad and this particular
453
00:25:00.280 –> 00:25:02.100
trip is at the time he was living in China.
454
00:25:02.700 –> 00:25:05.360
And he was coming home to the United States for spring break.
455
00:25:05.400 –> 00:25:09.020
He had a couple of his children with him, and he was working at a new
456
00:25:09.100 –> 00:25:11.660
job, getting ready to take his family all overseas.
457
00:25:11.700 –> 00:25:13.840
Now, they had lived in China before.
458
00:25:13.880 –> 00:25:17.870
My stepmom is actually Chinese. And so they
459
00:25:17.900 –> 00:25:20.780
were here in the United States for some medical things for a couple of years for
460
00:25:20.820 –> 00:25:23.430
their kids, and the goal was to figure out how to get back.
461
00:25:23.440 –> 00:25:25.559
But I hadn’t seen my dad for a while.
462
00:25:25.600 –> 00:25:29.580
So I know that to me, Disneyland is the happiest
463
00:25:29.640 –> 00:25:33.460
place on earth. But I quickly found out that road tripping with four small children
464
00:25:33.500 –> 00:25:36.780
is not. There were some dark moments.
465
00:25:36.820 –> 00:25:40.780
At one point, I got hit in the head with a sippy cup, and I can
466
00:25:40.840 –> 00:25:44.690
still feel it right here on my forehead when I think about that story.
467
00:25:44.700 –> 00:25:48.640
But the sippy cup was long gone. We didn’t find it until hours later, and it
468
00:25:48.680 –> 00:25:52.260
was upside down in my brand-new black Tommy Hilfiger
469
00:25:52.360 –> 00:25:52.780
purse.
470
00:25:53.700 –> 00:25:57.510
And I really got to practice what I preach, which is people are more
471
00:25:57.540 –> 00:26:01.220
important than things. Despite the road trip, we
472
00:26:01.280 –> 00:26:05.230
actually had a lot of fun. It’s fun to see Disneyland through the eyes of children,
473
00:26:05.810 –> 00:26:09.400
and it was fun to be with my dad and my brother and my sisters.
474
00:26:10.060 –> 00:26:13.960
We have a few days together, and on the last day, I remember my dad saying to
475
00:26:14.080 –> 00:26:17.920
my stepmom, “I’m going to go with Michelle for just a little bit, but we’ll meet
476
00:26:17.960 –> 00:26:21.340
you back.” And we had decided that we were each going to go do one ride
477
00:26:21.380 –> 00:26:23.970
together, one ride, and then meet up back together.
478
00:26:24.680 –> 00:26:26.700
And my stepmom took all four of the children.
479
00:26:26.820 –> 00:26:29.310
I don’t know why we thought that was a great idea, but I was grateful for just a
480
00:26:29.360 –> 00:26:31.120
little moment with my dad. And
481
00:26:32.160 –> 00:26:35.360
because my dad was living overseas, he didn’t have a cell phone, so we had to
482
00:26:35.380 –> 00:26:38.710
communicate and collaborate the old-fashioned way.
483
00:26:39.060 –> 00:26:42.420
Let’s pick a location. We picked the castle.
484
00:26:42.440 –> 00:26:45.840
We looked at that bench, and we saw the bench, and we looked at our watch, and we
485
00:26:45.940 –> 00:26:49.409
said, “Two o’clock. We’ll be back at 2:00.” It was about 45 minutes.
486
00:26:49.760 –> 00:26:53.400
My dad and I went to go do a quick ride. She went off to Fantasyland.
487
00:26:53.420 –> 00:26:56.760
We get back at 2:00, and at 2:00, there is no stepmom.
488
00:26:57.460 –> 00:27:01.270
At 2:15, no stepmom. At 2:30, no stepmom.
489
00:27:01.400 –> 00:27:05.069
And so I start to throw a 23-year-old fit because
490
00:27:05.069 –> 00:27:09.000
this is her MO. She has no concept of time
491
00:27:09.060 –> 00:27:13.000
whatsoever. And I love her. She is an amazing woman, and I’m so
492
00:27:13.040 –> 00:27:13.530
grateful for
493
00:27:14.420 –> 00:27:16.220
her, and at the same time, I get to throw this fit.
494
00:27:16.300 –> 00:27:19.629
So at 2:45, I am tapping my foot, I have folded my
495
00:27:19.700 –> 00:27:22.780
arms, and I am having just a little come apart.
496
00:27:22.840 –> 00:27:24.480
She never cares about anyone else’s schedule.
497
00:27:24.710 –> 00:27:28.500
She only cares about her own, and I could be on a ride right now, or at
498
00:27:28.540 –> 00:27:31.349
least waiting in line for a ride right now.
499
00:27:31.780 –> 00:27:33.260
And my dad puts his arm around me
500
00:27:34.280 –> 00:27:37.550
and he sits me down on the bench and he says,
501
00:27:38.330 –> 00:27:41.720
“I like sitting in front of the castle with my dad.”
502
00:27:43.200 –> 00:27:43.840
And he shakes me.
503
00:27:45.240 –> 00:27:49.120
And that’s my cue to repeat. We’ve had this pattern for many years, and
504
00:27:49.220 –> 00:27:52.840
I say, “I like sitting in front of the castle with my
505
00:27:52.880 –> 00:27:53.260
dad.”
506
00:27:55.300 –> 00:27:58.520
I take a deep breath, and then he asks me a question that he had asked me maybe
507
00:27:58.760 –> 00:28:02.450
1,000 times before in my life. He said, “Michelle, what’s the
508
00:28:02.540 –> 00:28:03.280
meaning of life?”
509
00:28:05.240 –> 00:28:09.200
Now, because he had asked me that question for years, I had had a variety
510
00:28:09.400 –> 00:28:13.180
of answers. He asked me from the time I was really little, but I remember being 12
511
00:28:13.540 –> 00:28:16.760
the first time I really had an answer, and I said,
512
00:28:17.230 –> 00:28:18.000
“Babysitting.”
513
00:28:19.220 –> 00:28:23.070
And he didn’t laugh at me. He just asked me why I thought that was
514
00:28:23.099 –> 00:28:27.039
the meaning of life to me. But then he continued
515
00:28:27.099 –> 00:28:29.920
to ask me the question as I grew up and as I developed.
516
00:28:29.960 –> 00:28:33.920
Well, as a 23-year-old, of course, I have the answer to all of life’s
517
00:28:33.960 –> 00:28:37.880
questions. And so at 23, with my arms folded, sitting on
518
00:28:37.920 –> 00:28:40.100
the park bench in the happiest place on earth, I say,
519
00:28:41.350 –> 00:28:42.600
“To be happy.”
520
00:28:44.320 –> 00:28:47.160
And he and I have another conversation, and I don’t remember what else happened in
521
00:28:47.200 –> 00:28:51.180
the conversation, but what I do remember is it was the very last time
522
00:28:51.360 –> 00:28:53.300
my dad would ever ask me that question.
523
00:28:54.880 –> 00:28:56.940
We finished our trip. We went home.
524
00:28:57.260 –> 00:28:58.340
He flew back to China,
525
00:28:59.140 –> 00:29:02.630
was diagnosed with SARS, and was the first American on record to pass away.
526
00:29:03.900 –> 00:29:07.820
Now, gratefully, that wasn’t our last experience or conversation together, even
527
00:29:07.840 –> 00:29:10.160
though it was the last time he ever asked me that question.
528
00:29:10.920 –> 00:29:14.260
And even though he’s now been gone more years than he was here,
529
00:29:15.800 –> 00:29:19.120
I wonder what it would be like to have him ask me that
530
00:29:19.160 –> 00:29:20.740
question one more time.
531
00:29:21.700 –> 00:29:24.970
Now, I told you that my dad was famous for this question. He was.
532
00:29:25.040 –> 00:29:28.970
All aunts, uncles, and cousins came to expect it when we were at
533
00:29:28.980 –> 00:29:32.040
family reunions before he passed.
534
00:29:32.120 –> 00:29:34.980
He even asked strangers and friends.
535
00:29:35.200 –> 00:29:38.620
We would be at the grocery store, and the woman in front of us would be getting
536
00:29:38.640 –> 00:29:42.160
ready to pay, and he would say, “Nice grapes.
537
00:29:42.480 –> 00:29:46.170
What’s the meaning of life?” Like a really bad pickup line.
538
00:29:46.720 –> 00:29:49.700
Sometimes it was a pickup line. Sometimes it was just genuine conversation.
539
00:29:49.720 –> 00:29:52.020
He was kind of like that. He liked to break down barriers.
540
00:29:52.640 –> 00:29:54.480
But my question for you is this:
541
00:29:55.560 –> 00:29:59.420
If you were sitting next to my dad or awkwardly buying
542
00:29:59.480 –> 00:30:02.980
grapes in the grocery store, and he were to say to you, “What’s the meaning of
543
00:30:03.020 –> 00:30:04.460
life?” What would you
544
00:30:04.500 –> 00:30:08.326
say?Now, you don’t have to answer
545
00:30:08.376 –> 00:30:12.206
that question, but this is another story that I tell regularly,
546
00:30:12.376 –> 00:30:15.796
and you’re welcome to share comments, thoughts, anything that you want to.
547
00:30:15.836 –> 00:30:19.586
It’s not the perfect story, but it’s a great story for one of the sections of
548
00:30:19.596 –> 00:30:22.996
my Make It Happen keynote. But I tell this to you
549
00:30:23.076 –> 00:30:26.696
because I think the most important question that we should be
550
00:30:26.796 –> 00:30:30.716
asking when we’re writing and preparing a story is what emotions
551
00:30:30.756 –> 00:30:34.696
do you want the audience to feel, or what emotion do you want the audience to
552
00:30:34.716 –> 00:30:38.466
feel? I asked you about different levels on that first story, and you didn’t know
553
00:30:38.476 –> 00:30:40.476
what I was talking about, and that’s okay.
554
00:30:40.496 –> 00:30:43.686
But sometimes we talk about story, like what’s the introduction?
555
00:30:43.716 –> 00:30:47.236
Or what’s the takeaway? Or what is the purpose of the story?
556
00:30:47.296 –> 00:30:49.616
Or can people put themselves in it?
557
00:30:49.936 –> 00:30:53.416
And all of that is important, but if you aren’t looking at what the emotions of the
558
00:30:53.496 –> 00:30:56.916
story are and how you want people to feel, then
559
00:30:57.096 –> 00:31:00.796
you don’t have the opportunity to craft the story in a way that
560
00:31:00.856 –> 00:31:04.796
helps them get the message but also helps them have an experience.
561
00:31:05.316 –> 00:31:06.736
And my first story,
562
00:31:08.036 –> 00:31:11.756
the ex-husband moves in across the street story, I actually call it Starter Homes
563
00:31:11.776 –> 00:31:12.756
and Starter Husbands.
564
00:31:14.536 –> 00:31:17.616
I’ve told that story for about 11 years.
565
00:31:17.886 –> 00:31:21.496
I actually didn’t put it in any of my keynotes until after I
566
00:31:21.636 –> 00:31:24.156
won The Last Story Standing competition.
567
00:31:24.656 –> 00:31:28.096
And one of the reasons why that is, is because before that, I couldn’t figure it
568
00:31:28.176 –> 00:31:31.926
out. I was telling the story, and it was wrong, and at one point when I sat down
569
00:31:31.976 –> 00:31:35.716
to compete in The Last Story Standing, I asked myself the question: What emotion do
570
00:31:35.836 –> 00:31:39.396
I really want people to feel here? Do I want them to feel the
571
00:31:39.456 –> 00:31:42.156
humor of my ex-husband moving in across the street?
572
00:31:42.196 –> 00:31:44.516
Do I want them to feel the
573
00:31:45.736 –> 00:31:49.136
weight that it was for me of my ex-husband moving in across the street?
574
00:31:49.216 –> 00:31:53.156
Do I want them to feel the awe of it? But I also need
575
00:31:53.196 –> 00:31:55.156
to make sure that they know that I’m okay.
576
00:31:55.556 –> 00:31:57.836
They have to know that I’m okay in that story.
577
00:31:58.886 –> 00:32:01.606
And the same thing with my dad and the Disneyland story.
578
00:32:02.096 –> 00:32:05.986
But the reason why I think emotions are so important is because some people will
579
00:32:06.016 –> 00:32:09.476
say they just want it to feel serious, or they just want it to feel sad,
580
00:32:10.036 –> 00:32:10.776
and I think that
581
00:32:11.936 –> 00:32:12.336
is
582
00:32:14.036 –> 00:32:17.535
a missed opportunity in story. I think that you can have people
583
00:32:17.616 –> 00:32:21.496
feel multiple things or bring in different ways.
584
00:32:21.576 –> 00:32:25.456
And I also feel like if you have a heavy story, you also have to figure out
585
00:32:25.496 –> 00:32:29.276
how to make it lighter. And there has to be ways for them to look back on it and be
586
00:32:29.356 –> 00:32:32.536
able to go, “Oh, there’s some humor there.” Whether that’s the grapes in the
587
00:32:32.556 –> 00:32:36.446
grocery line or the one man’s trash is another man’s treasure from the other
588
00:32:36.476 –> 00:32:39.646
story. But the emotional part of it is so important.
589
00:32:39.996 –> 00:32:43.676
And sometimes we think about emotions as the afterthought of a story, and it
590
00:32:43.756 –> 00:32:45.656
actually needs to be center stage.
591
00:32:46.236 –> 00:32:50.136
So as you think about writing a story and making a good story, I think a good
592
00:32:50.176 –> 00:32:53.456
story is lots of pieces, but I think that you will take your
593
00:32:54.496 –> 00:32:58.076
stories from where they are to where you want them to be when you think about the
594
00:32:58.096 –> 00:33:01.736
emotional journey that you want people to come on and how you
595
00:33:01.856 –> 00:33:05.776
help, hopefully, take them somewhere, but then they can end back on
596
00:33:05.836 –> 00:33:07.916
a high note or a place that makes them think.
597
00:33:08.596 –> 00:33:12.456
So before we go into the next part about some story crafting, but
598
00:33:12.476 –> 00:33:15.836
then also how to build your stories, what thoughts are coming to your mind?
599
00:33:16.036 –> 00:33:17.986
What are you thinking about? What is it that you want to…
600
00:33:18.016 –> 00:33:19.376
Yes, Ava, I see your hand. Go ahead.
601
00:33:21.676 –> 00:33:25.516
Honestly, I have to say there’s one point where I got distracted in your story,
602
00:33:26.036 –> 00:33:28.976
and I think I’m still in that distraction in my head.
603
00:33:29.366 –> 00:33:33.276
And it was the line where you said, “He’s been gone now
604
00:33:33.416 –> 00:33:37.176
longer than he was here.” Well, what that did for me is I started doing
605
00:33:37.236 –> 00:33:40.896
math, and I’m like, “Okay, he was in his 50s, so
606
00:33:41.316 –> 00:33:44.646
if he was gone longer than that, so maybe 110.
607
00:33:44.776 –> 00:33:48.276
She was 23, so that would put her in her 70s.
608
00:33:48.356 –> 00:33:52.316
She doesn’t look like she’s in her 70s.” And I got all wound up in there.
609
00:33:52.376 –> 00:33:56.116
I’m still trying to do the math in my head to figure out what the heck you meant
610
00:33:56.396 –> 00:33:59.716
that he’s gone. So that totally took me on a
611
00:33:59.776 –> 00:34:02.196
tangent that I haven’t come back from.
612
00:34:02.276 –> 00:34:06.136
So I just wanted to let you know that in case that’s anyone else’s experience.
613
00:34:06.616 –> 00:34:10.576
I love that you said that, too, because I usually share
614
00:34:10.636 –> 00:34:12.496
that differently than I shared it this time.
615
00:34:13.377 –> 00:34:16.857
What I typically say is, “I’ve reached the point in my life where he’s been gone
616
00:34:16.917 –> 00:34:17.937
longer than he was here.”
617
00:34:18.957 –> 00:34:22.877
I didn’t say “my life” because… And then the other part that I would say
618
00:34:23.036 –> 00:34:26.877
is, “He’s been gone 24 years, and I was 23 when
619
00:34:26.917 –> 00:34:27.486
this happened.”
620
00:34:28.316 –> 00:34:32.296
And so that story, that helps. But I appreciate you sharing that, and that’s
621
00:34:32.306 –> 00:34:35.586
a really good example of ways that people can get distracted
622
00:34:36.256 –> 00:34:39.866
and that you need to be mindful of that and why you should tell stories regularly
623
00:34:39.937 –> 00:34:43.857
and have people listen to them. Because in my mind, that makes total sense,
624
00:34:45.096 –> 00:34:48.357
and that’s a really great example of figuring out how to do that.
625
00:34:48.377 –> 00:34:52.076
So I appreciate the feedback, and I will work on that place before I share it
626
00:34:52.136 –> 00:34:56.036
again. And I think it’s a good point of conversation as well, too, because
627
00:34:56.076 –> 00:34:58.286
people can get stuck on tiny things-
628
00:34:58.676 –> 00:34:58.986
Mm-hmm
629
00:34:59.136 –> 00:35:02.736
… that you feel like. And that’s also one reason why in my
630
00:35:02.796 –> 00:35:06.456
ex-husband moves in across the street story that I share the
631
00:35:06.556 –> 00:35:10.476
answers to four questions, because those are the most frequently
632
00:35:10.536 –> 00:35:14.156
asked questions that I get, and I would have people come up to me after and say,
633
00:35:14.216 –> 00:35:17.506
“Wait, I got to know, how long did you live across the street from each other?” Or,
634
00:35:17.876 –> 00:35:20.916
“Did he know that you lived there? And did he…”
635
00:35:22.116 –> 00:35:25.476
And I threw in the statistics one just because it was funny and because my husband
636
00:35:25.496 –> 00:35:28.616
and I met in a statistics class, and it’s a potential other callback.
637
00:35:29.386 –> 00:35:33.186
But sometimes that’s why you tell stories, and that’s why you tell stories a lot
638
00:35:33.196 –> 00:35:35.886
for people to tell you things like that so that you can figure out how to tell a
639
00:35:35.956 –> 00:35:39.256
story. Because I had somebody say to me, “Oh my goodness, I couldn’t listen to the
640
00:35:39.296 –> 00:35:41.916
end of your story because I had to know, did he know you lived there?”
641
00:35:43.216 –> 00:35:46.916
And so those are really great thoughts, and as you tell stories and tell them
642
00:35:46.956 –> 00:35:49.896
regularly, have people tell you, where did you get distracted?
643
00:35:49.956 –> 00:35:53.456
Where did you get lost? Which is great.
644
00:35:53.536 –> 00:35:55.536
Thank you, Ava. Yes, Carl?
645
00:35:58.556 –> 00:35:59.236
I took
646
00:36:00.696 –> 00:36:02.576
10 or 11 story parts,
647
00:36:03.936 –> 00:36:07.816
and I looked at what’s the emotion I wanted for each
648
00:36:07.876 –> 00:36:08.576
of the parts.
649
00:36:10.976 –> 00:36:11.596
And I
650
00:36:12.304 –> 00:36:16.264
I did this recently, and I came from the standpoint of what connects me
651
00:36:16.304 –> 00:36:16.784
to people.
652
00:36:17.984 –> 00:36:21.804
And then what are the rankings of
653
00:36:21.864 –> 00:36:23.944
how people connect from most to least?
654
00:36:25.464 –> 00:36:27.244
And I kind of did that. So
655
00:36:29.104 –> 00:36:32.484
for the opening, I think relatable
656
00:36:33.044 –> 00:36:36.934
is very important. And then I did it all for introducing the topic, problem,
657
00:36:37.004 –> 00:36:37.764
and all the way through.
658
00:36:39.344 –> 00:36:41.724
What do you think of this, Michelle?
659
00:36:43.864 –> 00:36:47.364
Maybe yes, emotion, but even
660
00:36:47.444 –> 00:36:50.994
what emotion do you want them to feel at what part of
661
00:36:51.044 –> 00:36:52.354
the presentation?
662
00:36:53.204 –> 00:36:56.254
I sort of sectioned it all out,
663
00:36:56.384 –> 00:36:59.684
and when I come to the problem in my sort of
664
00:36:59.784 –> 00:37:02.894
awakening, I make that very vulnerable,
665
00:37:03.984 –> 00:37:07.184
and that supposedly is one of the top ways to be connected with people.
666
00:37:07.244 –> 00:37:09.924
I’m not saying I’m an expert, and I would like to learn more about it.
667
00:37:10.464 –> 00:37:12.204
But anyways, I just wanted to share that with you.
668
00:37:12.964 –> 00:37:14.324
No, I appreciate that you shared that.
669
00:37:15.704 –> 00:37:18.384
I think that’s an important part of this, too.
670
00:37:19.044 –> 00:37:22.904
When I typically told the starter husband story, I typically
671
00:37:22.964 –> 00:37:26.744
just let it be funny. And I never shared the part
672
00:37:26.844 –> 00:37:30.744
about my husband saying to me, “I forget that your ex-husband lives across the
673
00:37:30.804 –> 00:37:34.734
street. I forget.” And that gave me an opportunity to say, “I
674
00:37:34.764 –> 00:37:38.494
remember every day.” And so when I was crafting this story for Last Story Standing,
675
00:37:38.824 –> 00:37:42.804
I wanted people to get the funny. I wanted people to go, “Oh
676
00:37:42.844 –> 00:37:46.604
yeah, I forget about that part,” and that, “I would remember all the time, too,”
677
00:37:46.764 –> 00:37:50.184
or, “I wonder what it would’ve been like.” But then I also have to be
678
00:37:50.224 –> 00:37:52.564
intentional enough to bring people back up.
679
00:37:53.504 –> 00:37:57.184
And so that’s why the one man’s trash is another man’s treasure comes after
680
00:37:57.264 –> 00:38:01.024
that. Because when I’m telling that in an audience, it’s hard on
681
00:38:01.104 –> 00:38:01.384
Zoom,
682
00:38:02.444 –> 00:38:04.724
but if you’re interested, you can go watch that story.
683
00:38:05.044 –> 00:38:08.364
It’s in the NSA vault, and I’d be happy to send it to you, too.
684
00:38:08.444 –> 00:38:12.284
But the audience laughs at that, almost like an emotional
685
00:38:12.324 –> 00:38:13.284
release for them.
686
00:38:13.364 –> 00:38:13.584
Right.
687
00:38:13.904 –> 00:38:16.184
Because then they know that I’m okay.
688
00:38:16.804 –> 00:38:17.994
And the same with this story,
689
00:38:18.824 –> 00:38:22.584
with the story that I just told you, I tell about my dad
690
00:38:22.644 –> 00:38:25.084
passing away, that it’s the last time he would ever ask me that question.
691
00:38:25.584 –> 00:38:26.524
I have to say
692
00:38:28.164 –> 00:38:31.724
we did have other good conversations before he left.
693
00:38:32.184 –> 00:38:35.544
So that people know that that wasn’t the last thing that ever happened, or that he
694
00:38:35.564 –> 00:38:39.144
didn’t only see me that way. And then I also have to ask the question, the
695
00:38:39.184 –> 00:38:42.364
grapes usually lands in an audience laugh, too.
696
00:38:43.404 –> 00:38:47.344
Because I want people to go up and think things are funny, but then I want them
697
00:38:47.384 –> 00:38:51.324
to think for a minute. But then I’m always conscious of how do I bring them
698
00:38:51.364 –> 00:38:55.084
back up? Because if they stay sad for any
699
00:38:55.104 –> 00:38:58.204
reason, then they won’t listen to the rest of my story.
700
00:38:58.244 –> 00:39:01.864
And if they stay sad for any reason, then I won’t be able to do the work that I
701
00:39:01.924 –> 00:39:05.784
came to do. And it’s okay for them to feel that emotion or for them to feel, “Oh,
702
00:39:06.044 –> 00:39:09.724
I can’t believe that.” But then also, my responsibility is if I ever
703
00:39:09.844 –> 00:39:13.664
choose to bring someone down, that I am always responsible for
704
00:39:13.684 –> 00:39:17.224
bringing them back up. And so that’s why, to your point, Carl, it’s
705
00:39:17.924 –> 00:39:21.344
not just deciding what emotions, but where those emotions sit,
706
00:39:21.774 –> 00:39:24.424
and making sure that you always end with the backup.
707
00:39:25.524 –> 00:39:26.124
Great thoughts.
708
00:39:27.684 –> 00:39:29.594
Okay. We can keep talking about this.
709
00:39:29.604 –> 00:39:33.534
There are lots of great elements to a story, and I will share the four other things
710
00:39:33.564 –> 00:39:36.874
that I do that match a lot of what Karen talked about last month
711
00:39:37.504 –> 00:39:39.694
when I’m crafting story or talking about stories.
712
00:39:39.704 –> 00:39:42.664
But before I do that, I want to have you think about
713
00:39:43.804 –> 00:39:47.404
building your story bank. I put this in to talk a little bit about the experience
714
00:39:47.444 –> 00:39:51.104
that I had on “The Last Story Standing”, which we kind of talked about a little bit
715
00:39:51.164 –> 00:39:51.544
already.
716
00:39:52.704 –> 00:39:56.584
But to me, the winning of that was 700 of my peers
717
00:39:56.644 –> 00:39:59.064
hearing that story, and 700 of my peers
718
00:40:00.404 –> 00:40:04.304
knowing me a little bit better. And I had more Hall of
719
00:40:04.344 –> 00:40:08.293
Fame speakers come and find me in the hallway after that than I ever
720
00:40:08.424 –> 00:40:11.544
have. And what’s interesting is when I went back in
721
00:40:11.684 –> 00:40:15.364
2025, a year had gone by, and I still had
722
00:40:15.424 –> 00:40:16.684
people stopping me in the hallways.
723
00:40:16.754 –> 00:40:20.044
“Oh my goodness, I saw you last time on ‘The Last Story Standing.’ It was so great.
724
00:40:20.114 –> 00:40:23.214
You did such a fun job.” And some of them even said, “I voted for Jeff, but I have
725
00:40:23.224 –> 00:40:26.744
thought of your story so many times since last
726
00:40:26.784 –> 00:40:30.484
year.” And so I love that, and that was
727
00:40:30.964 –> 00:40:34.414
an opportunity that I will always
728
00:40:34.464 –> 00:40:38.294
treasure and be grateful for. And the footage that I got from that has
729
00:40:38.304 –> 00:40:40.804
been so incredible and really good for my
730
00:40:42.404 –> 00:40:46.164
speaker reel as well. So stories can be a great way to connect
731
00:40:46.204 –> 00:40:50.184
people, but I love people thinking about it and thinking.
732
00:40:50.244 –> 00:40:51.054
And
733
00:40:52.244 –> 00:40:54.904
ways that they can contribute and share.
734
00:40:58.144 –> 00:40:59.214
Michelle, are you here?
735
00:41:01.564 –> 00:41:03.424
I don’t think she’s here anymore, the other Michelle.
736
00:41:03.844 –> 00:41:04.804
Oh, yes, I’m here.
737
00:41:05.304 –> 00:41:05.904
Oh, you are here.
738
00:41:05.954 –> 00:41:05.954
Yep.
739
00:41:06.004 –> 00:41:06.224
Okay.
740
00:41:07.304 –> 00:41:08.384
Jasmine asked in the
741
00:41:09.484 –> 00:41:12.724
chat about how your life has changed after sharing your story
742
00:41:13.464 –> 00:41:14.524
on “Last Story Standing”.
743
00:41:17.104 –> 00:41:19.944
I didn’t share my story in “Last Story Standing”.
744
00:41:20.924 –> 00:41:22.704
Sorry, that was supposed to be Michelle McCullough.
745
00:41:22.734 –> 00:41:22.734
Oh.
746
00:41:22.764 –> 00:41:25.524
I think when I did the thing, it came in the wrong Michelle tag.
747
00:41:25.584 –> 00:41:26.064
Oh, sorry.
748
00:41:26.084 –> 00:41:28.343
Sorry. I thought I had Michelle McCullough. Sorry.
749
00:41:28.364 –> 00:41:29.034
It was supposed to be Michelle McCullough.
750
00:41:29.034 –> 00:41:32.624
No, you’re good. I can wait for a minute if you wanted her to share that, too.
751
00:41:32.764 –> 00:41:36.684
No, it was you, but I think as I was typing, I didn’t even notice before
752
00:41:36.764 –> 00:41:36.844
I-
753
00:41:37.924 –> 00:41:39.064
No worries.
754
00:41:40.044 –> 00:41:40.404
There you go.
755
00:41:41.104 –> 00:41:45.064
What I will also say is while I’m so
756
00:41:45.084 –> 00:41:48.814
grateful for the ways that it’s connected me to my NSA peers, it didn’t necessarily
757
00:41:48.844 –> 00:41:50.084
make my phone ring off the hook.
758
00:41:50.944 –> 00:41:54.864
And you would think or hope that that would happen as a result of that.
759
00:41:54.884 –> 00:41:58.804
But what I will say is it gave me a lot more confidence to share
760
00:41:58.864 –> 00:42:02.224
my story. It gave me a lot more confidence to continue to work on my stories.
761
00:42:03.244 –> 00:42:06.854
But the interesting part about that is that this actually isn’t my
762
00:42:06.884 –> 00:42:10.724
signature story. My signature story is a story about me
763
00:42:10.824 –> 00:42:14.564
and a plastic bag, and I have made more money on
764
00:42:14.624 –> 00:42:17.324
that story than any other story I have ever told.
765
00:42:17.624 –> 00:42:19.264
I don’t know if I’m going to tell you that story today.
766
00:42:19.464 –> 00:42:20.304
I’d love it
767
00:42:21.200 –> 00:42:24.400
Karen just saw it and she was like, “That’s such a great story.” But
768
00:42:24.480 –> 00:42:27.300
I’ll use that one a little bit later.
769
00:42:27.360 –> 00:42:31.320
So I don’t know if that answered your question, Jasmine, or if there’s other
770
00:42:31.360 –> 00:42:32.710
questions that you have about that.
771
00:42:32.820 –> 00:42:35.730
But it was really great for me to connect with my peers and
772
00:42:37.020 –> 00:42:39.960
also it didn’t necessarily make my phone ring off the hook to win
773
00:42:42.340 –> 00:42:45.479
and share. I didn’t win there, but to share on the final stage.
774
00:42:48.480 –> 00:42:49.660
Okay. So
775
00:42:50.660 –> 00:42:51.380
yes, Sylvia.
776
00:42:52.340 –> 00:42:54.840
Just real quick, this is more technical.
777
00:42:54.900 –> 00:42:57.220
So Michelle, your voice is very captivating.
778
00:42:57.260 –> 00:42:57.570
You’re
779
00:42:58.860 –> 00:43:02.020
engaging. You stop people in their tracks from multitasking.
780
00:43:02.080 –> 00:43:05.840
So my question is, I’m assuming you shared these stories in
781
00:43:05.880 –> 00:43:07.620
virtual settings as well.
782
00:43:07.680 –> 00:43:07.860
Mm-hmm.
783
00:43:07.960 –> 00:43:11.260
Is the audience experience similar to what we’re having where you’re like the small
784
00:43:11.360 –> 00:43:12.190
box and,
785
00:43:13.060 –> 00:43:14.680
or you do like a whole razzle-dazzle?
786
00:43:15.920 –> 00:43:17.840
I usually do a whole razzle-dazzle.
787
00:43:17.900 –> 00:43:21.800
If I’m doing a full keynote, and he was
788
00:43:21.820 –> 00:43:25.540
booked today, there are two, it’s side by side so you can see me and you can see my
789
00:43:25.579 –> 00:43:29.440
slides. But he also will go just to me and just to my slides from
790
00:43:29.480 –> 00:43:31.860
time to time. So it’s a little bit different.
791
00:43:31.900 –> 00:43:32.800
But yes, the other
792
00:43:33.760 –> 00:43:37.730
part that I think is important here is that I’m actually telling stories
793
00:43:37.780 –> 00:43:41.670
differently over virtual than I would tell
794
00:43:41.700 –> 00:43:44.840
them if I were sitting on a stage. And so if you
795
00:43:45.760 –> 00:43:47.120
care, you can go watch the
796
00:43:50.580 –> 00:43:54.180
starter homes and starter husbands so you can see the differences that I said.
797
00:43:54.430 –> 00:43:57.600
I still use the same lines but I didn’t pause
798
00:43:58.260 –> 00:44:02.020
because you aren’t laughing and I can’t make it awkward that there’s no
799
00:44:02.280 –> 00:44:04.180
laughing and that I’m pausing for it.
800
00:44:04.500 –> 00:44:08.260
But then the other thing is there’s usually one or two additional
801
00:44:08.320 –> 00:44:11.680
elements that I will share when I am
802
00:44:13.600 –> 00:44:16.530
live than I can share in virtual, because it doesn’t translate in the same way.
803
00:44:16.620 –> 00:44:19.670
So I also think that’s really important to note when you’re doing a virtual
804
00:44:19.700 –> 00:44:22.430
presentation, it’s not the same way
805
00:44:23.580 –> 00:44:27.500
that you would do virtually. The other thing is that I use the
806
00:44:27.600 –> 00:44:30.920
stage, and I can’t do that on a virtual,
807
00:44:31.020 –> 00:44:34.380
unless I was given a full stage opportunity.
808
00:44:34.400 –> 00:44:35.710
But usually when I’m
809
00:44:36.660 –> 00:44:40.049
sharing this story, I am walking to different places.
810
00:44:40.100 –> 00:44:43.220
I have a place that I stand for the things that happen at my house.
811
00:44:43.260 –> 00:44:46.169
I have a place that I stand for the things that happen at the restaurant.
812
00:44:46.630 –> 00:44:50.250
And so there are just different ways that I use the stage as well, which I also
813
00:44:50.260 –> 00:44:53.810
think is really important. We’re going to talk about physicality because there’s
814
00:44:53.920 –> 00:44:57.060
one story that I tell that I have to build a whole
815
00:44:57.100 –> 00:45:01.090
room in my words, and physicality is an important part of
816
00:45:01.120 –> 00:45:04.080
telling those stories. So that’s also something that doesn’t translate super well
817
00:45:04.120 –> 00:45:07.430
on virtual. But it’s a good thing to be considerate of when you’re crafting
818
00:45:07.520 –> 00:45:10.740
stories. And if you’re crafting stories for live, watch
819
00:45:10.820 –> 00:45:14.710
lots of live stories. And if you’re crafting stories for virtual, watch some
820
00:45:14.740 –> 00:45:15.480
virtual stories.
821
00:45:16.320 –> 00:45:18.380
Carl, I see your hand and I also see the chat,
822
00:45:19.420 –> 00:45:21.000
but I’ll let you share.
823
00:45:21.060 –> 00:45:23.200
Okay. Thank you, Michelle, if you have time.
824
00:45:24.300 –> 00:45:28.160
What signals or signs from the audience do you like to see that says, yeah,
825
00:45:28.260 –> 00:45:28.700
they’re
826
00:45:29.540 –> 00:45:32.640
engaged, they’re experiencing this or
827
00:45:32.760 –> 00:45:33.780
involved?
828
00:45:34.560 –> 00:45:38.360
Yeah, that’s a great question. Number one for me that I look for
829
00:45:38.500 –> 00:45:39.680
first is cell phones,
830
00:45:40.660 –> 00:45:43.880
which is the silliest thing ever, but everyone has their cell phones in their
831
00:45:43.980 –> 00:45:47.650
hands, and so I watch for the moments when they put their phone down.
832
00:45:48.800 –> 00:45:50.760
Even if they’re not looking at them, they’re holding their phones.
833
00:45:50.800 –> 00:45:53.360
Lots of people hold their phones, especially in an audience like this.
834
00:45:53.609 –> 00:45:55.680
There’s not a table, so tables aren’t set down.
835
00:45:56.080 –> 00:45:59.260
People are holding their phones, and so that’s the first thing that I look for.
836
00:45:59.740 –> 00:46:02.690
Are people looking at their phones? Do they set their phones down?
837
00:46:02.720 –> 00:46:06.200
And my goal is to capture people within the first 10
838
00:46:06.260 –> 00:46:09.180
seconds to hopefully keep them the entire time.
839
00:46:09.760 –> 00:46:12.940
But I will also watch for the moment where they bring their phones back
840
00:46:14.020 –> 00:46:16.560
because it is an undeniable pull. People will do it.
841
00:46:16.570 –> 00:46:20.190
And so one of the things that I do when I have a videographer that comes, and I
842
00:46:20.220 –> 00:46:23.760
think this is really important for anyone if you aren’t doing this, have them bring
843
00:46:23.770 –> 00:46:27.720
a third camera just for the audience that doesn’t move.
844
00:46:27.760 –> 00:46:31.130
The good part about that is if you’re telling funny laugh line stories, you can get
845
00:46:31.160 –> 00:46:33.169
clips from the audience of them laughing.
846
00:46:33.320 –> 00:46:37.070
But what I look at is I go back and I listen, but I only
847
00:46:37.079 –> 00:46:40.920
watch them. I watch when they get distracted, I watch when they lean
848
00:46:41.000 –> 00:46:42.209
in, I watch when they
849
00:46:43.500 –> 00:46:45.190
nod, and I watch when they go
850
00:46:46.400 –> 00:46:48.180
like some sort of physical something.
851
00:46:49.100 –> 00:46:52.540
And my stories, as you know Carl, are
852
00:46:52.610 –> 00:46:56.020
tailored slightly more towards the women in the room.
853
00:46:56.360 –> 00:47:00.070
You can tell that when I tell the story, when I say ex-husband lives across the
854
00:47:00.120 –> 00:47:02.520
street. I do say, I don’t know what your metaphorical ex-husband is.
855
00:47:02.920 –> 00:47:06.900
But a lot of my stories, the reason why I do that is not to exclude
856
00:47:06.980 –> 00:47:07.240
men,
857
00:47:08.120 –> 00:47:11.850
but to be conscious that I’m a woman and I can’t possibly
858
00:47:11.880 –> 00:47:14.940
figure out what a man is thinking in the middle of this story.
859
00:47:14.980 –> 00:47:16.940
And I probably, possibly can’t
860
00:47:18.660 –> 00:47:21.280
address all of their feelings in the story.
861
00:47:21.290 –> 00:47:25.040
And so the only way for me to stay authentic is to stay in that vein, but that’s
862
00:47:25.100 –> 00:47:29.000
also something that I watch for. I look at where the men walk away from the
863
00:47:29.060 –> 00:47:32.780
story. I look at where the men disconnect because that’s different than the
864
00:47:32.820 –> 00:47:35.720
women. And so then I can choose how do I bring them back?
865
00:47:35.750 –> 00:47:39.350
And honestly, humor is the number one way to bring the men along in the story,
866
00:47:39.960 –> 00:47:42.300
especially if it’s self-deprecating, they love that.
867
00:47:42.880 –> 00:47:46.780
But I think that that’s a good thing to watch for when you’re looking for signals
868
00:47:46.800 –> 00:47:50.480
from the audience. Know that the signals for men and women are different, and you
869
00:47:50.520 –> 00:47:53.640
have to decide how intentional you’re going to be with a story.
870
00:47:53.660 –> 00:47:57.600
But I think the interesting part about this is some people tell a story
871
00:47:57.620 –> 00:47:59.900
and they just tell a story. They’re not even thinking about that.
872
00:47:59.920 –> 00:48:03.690
But that’s the difference to me between good stories and great stories, is watching
873
00:48:04.080 –> 00:48:07.380
is the audience staying with you? Is the audience interested?
874
00:48:07.480 –> 00:48:11.430
And that’s why it took me 10 years before I put this story into a keynote because
875
00:48:11.480 –> 00:48:15.470
it wasn’t ready and I knew it. I couldn’t accomplish all the tasks that I needed
876
00:48:15.500 –> 00:48:18.950
to accomplish with that story until I figured out how to write it the way that I
877
00:48:19.000 –> 00:48:19.660
wrote it this time.
878
00:48:20.550 –> 00:48:22.480
And that’s a great question. I think watch the audience-
879
00:48:22.620 –> 00:48:22.630
Fantastic
880
00:48:22.640 –> 00:48:23.880
… see when they could disconnect.
881
00:48:23.920 –> 00:48:25.150
Was there something else you want to say about that?
882
00:48:25.860 –> 00:48:28.340
No. Fantastic. Thank you very much.
883
00:48:28.400 –> 00:48:29.572
Sure.Okay.
884
00:48:31.292 –> 00:48:33.932
Let’s talk for just a minute. We’re done at
885
00:48:35.072 –> 00:48:37.211
half after the hour, Karen, is that correct?
886
00:48:38.512 –> 00:48:39.952
I’ll keep that loose for people-
887
00:48:40.012 –> 00:48:40.242
Okay
888
00:48:40.242 –> 00:48:42.332
… just in case, but you can take it.
889
00:48:42.972 –> 00:48:44.832
People will leave if they have to, and people-
890
00:48:44.872 –> 00:48:44.992
Sure
891
00:48:45.052 –> 00:48:45.872
… will stay. Yeah.
892
00:48:46.452 –> 00:48:50.212
I want to say two things really quickly about
893
00:48:51.152 –> 00:48:52.272
building your story bank,
894
00:48:53.872 –> 00:48:56.912
because some people are like, “I don’t have a good story.” And I think most of you
895
00:48:56.992 –> 00:49:00.492
here have been here long enough that I kind of know your stories, and most of you
896
00:49:00.532 –> 00:49:03.181
have story, and Karen cares about stories, so stories are good.
897
00:49:03.732 –> 00:49:06.152
But I am always building my story bank.
898
00:49:06.312 –> 00:49:10.262
I have a note on my phone that I just will go in, even if I’m driving, and I
899
00:49:10.272 –> 00:49:13.892
will add just a couple of lines to a story as something comes up.
900
00:49:13.912 –> 00:49:17.892
And I also ask myself questions about other parts of my life, other times in my
901
00:49:17.932 –> 00:49:21.532
life, but I do it based off of what else do I need emotion-wise.
902
00:49:21.652 –> 00:49:23.352
I’ve got some good stories that make people think.
903
00:49:23.392 –> 00:49:26.872
I’ve got some good stories that take people on a journey of hardship.
904
00:49:26.952 –> 00:49:28.692
I’ve got some good stories that make people laugh.
905
00:49:28.732 –> 00:49:32.582
But what I don’t have is a really good story that makes me embarrassed, or
906
00:49:32.592 –> 00:49:36.162
what are the times I was embarrassed, or what are the times where I was out of
907
00:49:36.172 –> 00:49:40.072
control? And so I’ll start to think through building my story bank that way, and
908
00:49:40.112 –> 00:49:42.212
hopefully, if that’s helpful for someone, that’s great, too.
909
00:49:43.092 –> 00:49:45.772
Embarrassing moments can be part of that.
910
00:49:46.192 –> 00:49:48.712
I have a great story about being in a play and
911
00:49:49.692 –> 00:49:52.872
one of the characters pulling down my skirt on stage live.
912
00:49:53.832 –> 00:49:57.592
And so that story is fun to develop just because it can
913
00:49:57.632 –> 00:50:01.132
just be about vulnerability and how you continue to move on.
914
00:50:03.232 –> 00:50:05.712
What unexpected events or experiences have you had?
915
00:50:06.552 –> 00:50:10.072
A time that you had to push yourself can be a really great
916
00:50:10.352 –> 00:50:14.272
way to come up with other stories. And then this is just some of the
917
00:50:14.332 –> 00:50:17.572
others that I say for people who are working on their story banks.
918
00:50:17.632 –> 00:50:20.432
Lessons you’ve learned. Everyday moments can turn into great stories
919
00:50:21.312 –> 00:50:24.592
if you know how to develop them. I think one of the things that I don’t like about
920
00:50:24.612 –> 00:50:28.312
the Last Story Standing competition is the five minutes, because I don’t
921
00:50:28.332 –> 00:50:29.832
necessarily know that five minutes is the
922
00:50:31.252 –> 00:50:35.042
best length of time. And people ask me all the time, how long is a good story?
923
00:50:35.052 –> 00:50:37.452
And it’s honestly as long as you have their attention.
924
00:50:37.792 –> 00:50:41.732
Alison Massari basically tells her story in her keynote, and it
925
00:50:41.832 –> 00:50:45.522
is the entire keynote. And she has a couple of points that she does
926
00:50:45.552 –> 00:50:48.992
takeaways on, but she has a master class about a
927
00:50:49.152 –> 00:50:53.032
45-minute story. My starter home story, I typically tell
928
00:50:53.092 –> 00:50:56.012
about seven to 10 minutes, depending on the group and what I need to add.
929
00:50:56.352 –> 00:50:58.732
But I don’t think it’s length that makes a good story.
930
00:50:58.952 –> 00:51:02.212
I think it is that you’re telling the right information at the right time.
931
00:51:02.242 –> 00:51:05.792
And so sometimes you need an everyday moment story that’s just 30
932
00:51:05.832 –> 00:51:08.812
seconds that you tie in that helps you share an experience.
933
00:51:08.852 –> 00:51:12.152
So having a bank of stories I think is really important.
934
00:51:13.672 –> 00:51:14.962
When you have a good story,
935
00:51:15.812 –> 00:51:19.312
I’m going to run through these four things quickly, especially since
936
00:51:19.672 –> 00:51:23.522
Karen talked about story last week, but then I want to tell you what I do with
937
00:51:23.572 –> 00:51:27.302
my stories now that make me money. And so I have a feeling that that might
938
00:51:27.312 –> 00:51:30.692
be more valuable to you than me actually giving you story
939
00:51:32.212 –> 00:51:35.332
content, but because I said that I have four things, I will give you those.
940
00:51:35.392 –> 00:51:38.552
If you want me to spend more time on these, I’m happy to, but then I want to tell
941
00:51:38.612 –> 00:51:41.292
you how I use my stories to make money in my speaking business.
942
00:51:41.512 –> 00:51:42.152
Does that sound good?
943
00:51:42.992 –> 00:51:44.592
Is that helpful? Okay. I got some nods.
944
00:51:45.992 –> 00:51:48.652
Okay. My four things, four steps to an incredible story.
945
00:51:48.732 –> 00:51:52.602
The first one we’ve talked about already, what emotion do you want people to feel?
946
00:51:52.872 –> 00:51:55.592
What emotions, and how do you help them end on that high note?
947
00:51:56.572 –> 00:52:00.032
The second, we kind of talked about as well, which is great, how do you keep people
948
00:52:00.132 –> 00:52:03.652
connected? And that’s watching over and over again and figuring out
949
00:52:03.732 –> 00:52:07.612
when they stop listening, and how long or how short you
950
00:52:07.652 –> 00:52:09.692
make it so that people stay connected the whole time.
951
00:52:10.092 –> 00:52:13.812
There is a version of my story that is actually 25 minutes long
952
00:52:14.172 –> 00:52:18.132
because I actually tell the first time we saw each other for
953
00:52:18.172 –> 00:52:22.072
the first time and how I wanted control over that, which is a funny story in
954
00:52:22.092 –> 00:52:25.812
and of itself. I also tell other parts
955
00:52:25.932 –> 00:52:29.852
of us interacting or accidentally seeing each other in the hallway at
956
00:52:29.892 –> 00:52:33.672
church. We’re part of the same faith, and so we saw each other regularly at
957
00:52:33.712 –> 00:52:36.252
church and had some awkward moments in a church hall.
958
00:52:36.352 –> 00:52:38.802
But depending on the type of place that it goes
959
00:52:39.632 –> 00:52:42.852
for the topic, I can actually get away with some more of that story,
960
00:52:43.412 –> 00:52:46.112
but it’s not in all the normal places.
961
00:52:46.191 –> 00:52:49.122
But if I can keep people connected, and if you can keep people connected, you can
962
00:52:49.122 –> 00:52:50.572
actually tell really long stories.
963
00:52:52.012 –> 00:52:53.892
I see a Netflix series here.
964
00:52:55.772 –> 00:52:59.132
I think I’m the only one who thinks that’s funny.
965
00:53:01.052 –> 00:53:04.962
Let’s see. When you talk about keeping people connected, there’s lots of
966
00:53:04.992 –> 00:53:06.452
great ways, and we’ve talked about them, too.
967
00:53:06.512 –> 00:53:10.272
Humor is only one way, but always make sure you have an application question or an
968
00:53:10.282 –> 00:53:11.522
application statement,
969
00:53:12.352 –> 00:53:14.831
a statement of relatability that keeps people in.
970
00:53:16.732 –> 00:53:18.852
The third one is delivery elements.
971
00:53:18.912 –> 00:53:22.892
So I think through both the emotions, I think through connection,
972
00:53:22.942 –> 00:53:25.612
and then I think delivery elements, and this is really about the physicality.
973
00:53:26.212 –> 00:53:28.832
And this is a story, I’m not going to tell you this whole story,
974
00:53:29.792 –> 00:53:33.672
though it’s one of my favorite stories, but I had an opportunity
975
00:53:33.732 –> 00:53:37.662
on a cruise ship, and I love karaoke, and I
976
00:53:37.672 –> 00:53:41.592
went into karaoke one night and sang my guts out, and I didn’t know it was
977
00:53:41.672 –> 00:53:44.932
actually an audition to sing in front of everyone
978
00:53:45.412 –> 00:53:49.062
in the final cruise performance. And so this is
979
00:53:49.172 –> 00:53:52.452
me, all the work they had to do to make me look like Gloria Estefan.
980
00:53:52.562 –> 00:53:56.532
And it’s a funny story where I’m in a bar, and I actually have to paint
981
00:53:56.572 –> 00:54:00.212
the picture of the bar. And when I do that, I have to share the
982
00:54:00.292 –> 00:54:03.592
stage, and I have to say that there was a table in the back.
983
00:54:04.102 –> 00:54:07.392
They were all drunk, and they were calling me Melissa, but that’s okay because they
984
00:54:07.412 –> 00:54:11.142
thought I was awesome. And then I’ve got 30 family members and
985
00:54:11.172 –> 00:54:14.182
friends up in the front because we were on a family reunion.
986
00:54:14.192 –> 00:54:18.062
And so when I’m telling that story, I’m talking about the physicality and
987
00:54:18.132 –> 00:54:21.852
how you create a room with both your gestures and
988
00:54:22.052 –> 00:54:23.292
your staging,
989
00:54:24.292 –> 00:54:26.472
which is also hard to do on virtual.
990
00:54:26.552 –> 00:54:29.772
But what I want you to be thinking about when you’re telling your story is how do
991
00:54:29.812 –> 00:54:33.004
you help people do that because-One of the things that I’ve noticed over the last
992
00:54:33.024 –> 00:54:35.893
couple of years with Last Story Standing there are people who have
993
00:54:35.924 –> 00:54:39.384
gestures that actually take away from the story.
994
00:54:39.424 –> 00:54:42.164
And watching yourself give a story and having people share you…
995
00:54:42.584 –> 00:54:44.634
I had one guy who was doing this the whole time
996
00:54:45.464 –> 00:54:49.384
and it was like I’m cutting my neck off and it was actually very
997
00:54:49.424 –> 00:54:51.644
distracting to the story. And it was
998
00:54:52.584 –> 00:54:55.224
involuntary, but the one note I put, I was like, “Great story.
999
00:54:55.264 –> 00:54:59.124
I think you’re awesome. Watch this video back and take a look at your hand
1000
00:54:59.144 –> 00:55:02.004
gestures, because I think you’ll want to be more intentional.
1001
00:55:02.044 –> 00:55:04.634
I think you can take your story to the next level if you’re more intentional about
1002
00:55:04.664 –> 00:55:08.544
your hand gestures.” So the delivery, the physicality is just as important
1003
00:55:08.564 –> 00:55:12.494
as the emotions, because you can lose everyone if you’re not intentional with how
1004
00:55:12.544 –> 00:55:15.864
your body looks, especially in front of a live audience and on a big
1005
00:55:15.904 –> 00:55:19.824
stage. And some people can– and the same thing, I used Alison
1006
00:55:19.844 –> 00:55:23.644
Massari as an example. She can stand in one spot for 45
1007
00:55:23.704 –> 00:55:27.644
minutes, but she still does a fantastic job of setting
1008
00:55:27.684 –> 00:55:31.504
the stage for her story of her accident, of her experience of going to the
1009
00:55:31.524 –> 00:55:35.244
hospital. And so you don’t actually have to use the stage in
1010
00:55:35.304 –> 00:55:39.184
order for that to work. However, some people, when they
1011
00:55:39.194 –> 00:55:42.004
don’t use the stage, it almost looks like they’re stuck,
1012
00:55:42.864 –> 00:55:46.004
and they have energy that they have to get out of the box.
1013
00:55:46.484 –> 00:55:49.944
And so there are some people who actually need to be intentional about how they use
1014
00:55:49.954 –> 00:55:53.004
the stage. So just watch that for yourself as well.
1015
00:55:53.044 –> 00:55:54.444
See what you need.
1016
00:55:55.904 –> 00:55:57.744
There are other delivery elements.
1017
00:55:58.024 –> 00:56:01.944
I kind of asked about levels earlier, and levels can mean lots of different
1018
00:56:02.004 –> 00:56:05.644
things. But one of the reasons why I talk about levels is because I think your pace
1019
00:56:05.664 –> 00:56:09.364
can shift. My Achilles heel, as you can tell from this,
1020
00:56:09.924 –> 00:56:13.884
is that I talk really fast, and so I have to be very intentional
1021
00:56:13.924 –> 00:56:17.464
about slowing myself down. And sometimes I’m good at that and sometimes I’m not.
1022
00:56:17.944 –> 00:56:21.674
Inflection is important, conversational style, whether you’re narrating or whether
1023
00:56:21.684 –> 00:56:25.484
you’re doing dialogue, but also how you connect with the
1024
00:56:25.544 –> 00:56:28.664
audience, both in eye contact and everything else.
1025
00:56:29.024 –> 00:56:30.704
Those delivery elements are important, too.
1026
00:56:31.314 –> 00:56:35.214
And then the last one that I say is, how will you continue to make this
1027
00:56:35.264 –> 00:56:39.184
story better? My stories are better now than they were when
1028
00:56:39.264 –> 00:56:42.384
I first told them, because I am constantly trying to improve them.
1029
00:56:42.964 –> 00:56:46.244
And also there are times where I make
1030
00:56:46.284 –> 00:56:50.124
adjustments to a story based off of the things that are happening in the world.
1031
00:56:50.144 –> 00:56:53.984
And the Disneyland story is a great example of that, because I actually have two
1032
00:56:54.004 –> 00:56:57.804
Disneyland stories that I tell, and I don’t always tell them in the same keynote,
1033
00:56:57.824 –> 00:57:01.804
but if I ever have to, because of the way that it’s structured, I have
1034
00:57:01.844 –> 00:57:05.724
to say something like, “I promise I go other places, even
1035
00:57:05.764 –> 00:57:09.684
though I have two Disneyland stories.” But I also added in
1036
00:57:09.744 –> 00:57:13.284
the line, there are two kinds of people in this world, those who love Disneyland
1037
00:57:13.304 –> 00:57:15.354
and those who judge you for how much you love Disneyland.
1038
00:57:15.854 –> 00:57:19.764
Because in the internet stick phase that we live in, if you know anyone who they
1039
00:57:19.784 –> 00:57:23.724
would call a Disney adult, some people don’t like them,
1040
00:57:23.964 –> 00:57:25.944
some people hate them, some people judge you for them.
1041
00:57:26.034 –> 00:57:29.744
And I’m giving people space to recognize that they don’t have to like
1042
00:57:29.784 –> 00:57:33.054
Disneyland to like the story. Because I had so many people saying, “Well, I don’t
1043
00:57:33.064 –> 00:57:36.984
like Disneyland, so I don’t listen to your story.” And so that helped me continue
1044
00:57:37.024 –> 00:57:39.664
to make the story better when I added in that element over time.
1045
00:57:40.164 –> 00:57:42.784
So please don’t ever give up.
1046
00:57:43.764 –> 00:57:47.354
And yes, it’s an unexpected contrast. I actually do that story.
1047
00:57:47.444 –> 00:57:50.284
I can actually do that line also with pets.
1048
00:57:50.844 –> 00:57:54.784
There is a story that I tell about a dog, and I say there are two kinds of people
1049
00:57:54.804 –> 00:57:58.344
in this world, those who love their dogs and those who judge you for how much you
1050
00:57:58.384 –> 00:57:59.644
love your dog.
1051
00:58:00.724 –> 00:58:04.524
Only because some people really are pet people and some people are not.
1052
00:58:04.744 –> 00:58:08.464
But if you’re a pet person, you can’t even imagine what it’s like to not be a pet
1053
00:58:08.504 –> 00:58:11.984
person. And if you’re not a pet person, you can’t even imagine what it’s like to be
1054
00:58:12.044 –> 00:58:14.304
a pet person. So you have to sometimes give space for that.
1055
00:58:14.713 –> 00:58:17.024
And so you’ll start to notice, because you’re watching,
1056
00:58:18.124 –> 00:58:20.704
when people get disconnected or people start to say things to you.
1057
00:58:21.164 –> 00:58:24.194
A good story is only great as you continue to make it better.
1058
00:58:24.284 –> 00:58:27.404
So watch for some of those pieces. Okay.
1059
00:58:28.944 –> 00:58:32.244
Now, any questions about that before I tell you how I use my stories to make money?
1060
00:58:36.684 –> 00:58:40.324
Nope? Okay. And this is not a speak now or forever hold your peace
1061
00:58:40.384 –> 00:58:43.604
situation. You’re also welcome to email me anytime, but
1062
00:58:46.224 –> 00:58:48.904
here is how I use my stories to sell.
1063
00:58:49.444 –> 00:58:52.984
Now, I’m going to try to show a video here,
1064
00:58:54.464 –> 00:58:58.304
and we’re not going to watch the whole thing, but I want you to watch this video,
1065
00:58:58.364 –> 00:59:01.534
if I can get this video to work. Let’s see if the sound will work, because it’s
1066
00:59:01.584 –> 00:59:02.964
always a mystery.
1067
00:59:04.444 –> 00:59:04.704
Nope.
1068
00:59:07.764 –> 00:59:10.044
And now you can’t see it anymore. So hang on just a second.
1069
00:59:10.084 –> 00:59:11.864
Let me get here.
1070
00:59:16.944 –> 00:59:19.024
Cutting and slicing takes forever.
1071
00:59:19.133 –> 00:59:19.454
Can you hear it?
1072
00:59:19.454 –> 00:59:20.004
It’s a mess.
1073
00:59:20.133 –> 00:59:20.133
Yeah.
1074
00:59:20.144 –> 00:59:23.684
And cleanup is a pain. Introducing Clever Cutter, the
1075
00:59:23.724 –> 00:59:27.664
two-in-one knife and cutting board that chops and slices food in seconds.
1076
00:59:27.774 –> 00:59:31.254
The razor-sharp stainless steel blades slice through food quickly and
1077
00:59:31.404 –> 00:59:35.124
easily, unlike scissors. Clever Cutter’s secret is the power pressure
1078
00:59:35.184 –> 00:59:39.064
handles- … that automatically open for quicker, easier slicing.
1079
00:59:39.104 –> 00:59:42.834
To cut through food fast, Clever Cutter cuts up to 10 times
1080
00:59:42.864 –> 00:59:45.764
faster than ordinary cutters. Just look at the difference.
1081
00:59:46.244 –> 00:59:48.424
Quickly chop an entire chopped salad.
1082
00:59:48.524 –> 00:59:49.044
Slice pep-
1083
00:59:49.744 –> 00:59:53.524
Okay, so silly, but I always show this when we’re talking
1084
00:59:53.584 –> 00:59:57.324
about marketing and using video. And even though it’s not a speaker video,
1085
00:59:57.524 –> 01:00:00.324
what I think is incredibly clever,
1086
01:00:01.404 –> 01:00:05.204
no pun intended, is how they can get you to buy
1087
01:00:05.324 –> 01:00:09.284
something really quickly. Now, you might not be me, but I saw this
1088
01:00:09.324 –> 01:00:13.124
show up in my Instagram ads about 12 years ago, and
1089
01:00:13.484 –> 01:00:15.024
I instantly bought
1090
01:00:15.844 –> 01:00:19.624
seven of them. I didn’t intend to buy seven, but when I clicked the link to buy
1091
01:00:19.744 –> 01:00:23.504
one, it had an option to get four more for
1092
01:00:23.584 –> 01:00:27.564
only $4 more. And then it had an option to get me two bonus gift
1093
01:00:27.644 –> 01:00:31.384
sets. And then the next thing you know, I have bought seven
1094
01:00:31.424 –> 01:00:34.434
Clever Cutters, and they are coming to my door for the small price of
1095
01:00:34.434 –> 01:00:38.426
$21.99. NowAgain, I share this
1096
01:00:38.496 –> 01:00:42.066
story and this quick little video with you to say that
1097
01:00:42.116 –> 01:00:45.106
sometimes I think that as speakers we feel
1098
01:00:45.216 –> 01:00:49.156
like it takes a lot longer to sell who
1099
01:00:49.176 –> 01:00:52.846
we are than we actually think and video is a really
1100
01:00:53.636 –> 01:00:57.276
great way to sell ourselves. And we know that because we have speaker reels
1101
01:00:57.976 –> 01:01:01.056
but I used speaker reels forever
1102
01:01:01.176 –> 01:01:05.026
and I didn’t grow my business until I shifted to a
1103
01:01:05.076 –> 01:01:09.006
story reel and I took my signature stories that
1104
01:01:09.236 –> 01:01:12.646
I had multiple different places, and I figured out how
1105
01:01:12.716 –> 01:01:16.476
to tell a story in a way on a
1106
01:01:16.496 –> 01:01:19.036
video that made people want to watch and listen.
1107
01:01:19.076 –> 01:01:22.356
And the best part about it was that people were
1108
01:01:22.416 –> 01:01:26.396
interested in what I had to say, and they were more likely to share
1109
01:01:26.436 –> 01:01:30.286
it because it was a story. Now, I wish I
1110
01:01:30.316 –> 01:01:31.865
could say I took credit for this
1111
01:01:32.836 –> 01:01:36.685
but it wasn’t my idea at first. I use the Clever Cutter
1112
01:01:36.796 –> 01:01:40.086
story all the time, and I used it for speakers and NSA and Speakers Academy
1113
01:01:40.816 –> 01:01:43.496
but I actually learned this from Clint Pulver.
1114
01:01:43.536 –> 01:01:47.396
Have any of you seen Be a Mr. Jensen video?
1115
01:01:47.856 –> 01:01:51.196
Okay, Karen has seen it. I am not going to show you the whole thing, but I do want
1116
01:01:51.216 –> 01:01:55.196
you to see just a little bit of what he did so that I can talk about what I did
1117
01:01:55.256 –> 01:01:58.976
and what changed the business for me when I started using my stories to
1118
01:01:59.076 –> 01:01:59.436
sell me.
1119
01:02:00.536 –> 01:02:04.056
You can go and watch this. It’s almost three million views but-
1120
01:02:04.436 –> 01:02:06.496
I had a lot of minutes as a child. One that’s always stuck out to me, though, was
1121
01:02:06.536 –> 01:02:08.876
when I was about 10 years old and I was in school
1122
01:02:09.776 –> 01:02:10.536
and I struggled.
1123
01:02:12.236 –> 01:02:15.056
And I didn’t struggle with English, math or science.
1124
01:02:15.996 –> 01:02:17.076
I struggled holding still.
1125
01:02:18.956 –> 01:02:22.896
And I would try to listen and focus and process ideas, but I couldn’t help
1126
01:02:22.936 –> 01:02:23.476
myself.
1127
01:02:24.316 –> 01:02:27.796
And to be honest, I would sit there and then I would just start tapping, and the
1128
01:02:27.836 –> 01:02:31.756
students in the class would look at me and they’d say, “Hey, stop tapping.” A
1129
01:02:31.876 –> 01:02:33.796
lot of the time, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
1130
01:02:34.976 –> 01:02:37.656
And then eventually even the teachers got after me and they would yell at me and
1131
01:02:37.676 –> 01:02:39.896
they’d say, “Clint, you have to stop tapping.”
1132
01:02:41.976 –> 01:02:45.816
It got so bad that I got sent to the principal’s office for tapping
1133
01:02:46.956 –> 01:02:47.596
and he said to me,
1134
01:02:48.616 –> 01:02:52.436
“Okay, maybe when you go back to class, just try sitting on your hands.”
1135
01:02:52.916 –> 01:02:56.846
So I did. I went back to class, and when I felt myself starting to tap, I just, I
1136
01:02:56.856 –> 01:02:58.376
did this. I sat on my hands.
1137
01:02:58.976 –> 01:03:02.886
Okay. In the interest of time, you can go back and watch this video because
1138
01:03:02.916 –> 01:03:06.796
it’s really great. Clint tells a story, but then he tells about how he gets
1139
01:03:06.896 –> 01:03:10.536
to his next grade, and he has a teacher, Mr.
1140
01:03:10.636 –> 01:03:14.626
Jensen, who one day Clint’s tapping, and
1141
01:03:14.676 –> 01:03:18.176
he says, “Clint, you need to stay after class.” And
1142
01:03:19.076 –> 01:03:22.626
he’s worried. He’s fretting about it, and he’s like, “Oh, no, I’m done for.” And
1143
01:03:22.656 –> 01:03:24.416
then ultimately, what happens is that Mr.
1144
01:03:24.496 –> 01:03:27.656
Jensen says, “I don’t think you’re a problem.
1145
01:03:27.756 –> 01:03:31.456
I think you’re a drummer.” And Mr. Jensen hands him his very first
1146
01:03:31.556 –> 01:03:35.196
set of drumsticks. And I’m butchering this
1147
01:03:35.236 –> 01:03:38.996
story, so forgive me, but for the interest of time, we’re going to go through
1148
01:03:39.056 –> 01:03:42.576
this. Then as that story changes, the
1149
01:03:43.136 –> 01:03:44.316
background changes.
1150
01:03:48.456 –> 01:03:49.596
You start to see Clint
1151
01:03:51.956 –> 01:03:52.736
on every-
1152
01:03:52.766 –> 01:03:54.266
From that moment on, I’ve never stopped playing
1153
01:03:54.266 –> 01:03:54.976
… on big stages.
1154
01:03:57.256 –> 01:03:59.925
Toured, recorded, played drums all over the world.
1155
01:03:59.996 –> 01:04:03.705
My whole college education was paid for with drumsticks in my
1156
01:04:03.756 –> 01:04:03.996
hand,
1157
01:04:05.956 –> 01:04:09.916
just because of a single moment in time when somebody believed in me
1158
01:04:09.956 –> 01:04:13.326
and he saw something in me that I didn’t even see within
1159
01:04:13.356 –> 01:04:14.076
myself.
1160
01:04:16.736 –> 01:04:17.796
Yet from that moment,
1161
01:04:18.696 –> 01:04:21.496
I learned that there’s a difference between being the best in the world
1162
01:04:22.936 –> 01:04:24.796
and being the best for the world.
1163
01:04:28.616 –> 01:04:31.716
Okay, so Clint did this, and I was like, “There’s no way I can do this.
1164
01:04:31.796 –> 01:04:35.636
It’s going to cost way too much money, and I am nervous
1165
01:04:35.716 –> 01:04:39.316
about doing it.” And then I
1166
01:04:40.476 –> 01:04:44.036
just did it. I took my signature story, and I
1167
01:04:44.456 –> 01:04:48.316
took all the different times I had told that story, and then
1168
01:04:48.496 –> 01:04:49.136
I
1169
01:04:49.936 –> 01:04:50.336
paid a
1170
01:04:51.176 –> 01:04:53.856
couple girls in my neighborhood to be the
1171
01:04:56.956 –> 01:05:00.656
actors in the video, and I put the story
1172
01:05:00.916 –> 01:05:04.386
in with all of my speaking, and this, I’m going to show you again, I’m only going
1173
01:05:04.416 –> 01:05:07.816
to show you part of it so that you can see what we did, but this video has made me
1174
01:05:07.956 –> 01:05:10.276
more money than any speaker reel ever has.
1175
01:05:12.896 –> 01:05:14.176
I fell in love with you.
1176
01:05:16.916 –> 01:05:18.036
See, it worked for Karen.
1177
01:05:18.336 –> 01:05:18.866
It did. It worked.
1178
01:05:18.866 –> 01:05:22.696
I was seven, and yet the memory of that night is as clear as ever.
1179
01:05:23.716 –> 01:05:26.636
I was playing in my room when I noticed it was past my bedtime.
1180
01:05:27.416 –> 01:05:30.156
When my mom finally came in, she did not put me to bed.
1181
01:05:30.676 –> 01:05:33.516
She handed me a plastic bag and said, “Pack whatever you can.
1182
01:05:33.756 –> 01:05:35.256
I don’t know when we’re coming back.”
1183
01:05:36.156 –> 01:05:38.436
And then she left the room about as quickly as she came in.
1184
01:05:39.456 –> 01:05:43.366
I could tell something was wrong, so I tried to do what I was asked, but I’d never
1185
01:05:43.596 –> 01:05:47.276
packed a bag all by myself before, so I grabbed a shirt
1186
01:05:47.536 –> 01:05:51.376
and all of the underwear to my name and no pants, and then as I was
1187
01:05:51.436 –> 01:05:55.156
about to leave, I looked at my room and wondered if I needed to grab a few
1188
01:05:55.176 –> 01:05:55.536
things.
1189
01:05:56.456 –> 01:06:00.276
So I grabbed all of my pennies, which was about 52 cents, and
1190
01:06:00.316 –> 01:06:02.496
my brand-new My Little Pony twins,
1191
01:06:03.316 –> 01:06:07.156
and we walked down the stairs, past my dad crying, and we left.
1192
01:06:07.976 –> 01:06:11.216
In hindsight, I wonder why we didn’t grab suitcases.
1193
01:06:11.276 –> 01:06:15.136
After all, my grandfather was a travel agent, and we had Pan Am
1194
01:06:15.196 –> 01:06:17.276
overnight bags in abundance in our house.
1195
01:06:18.096 –> 01:06:21.936
But I can imagine in the midst of my mom’s own trial and heartache, she was just
1196
01:06:21.976 –> 01:06:25.896
trying to find a way to get it done. I was really too little to understand the
1197
01:06:25.936 –> 01:06:29.816
gravity of the situation, but with my adult eyes, I see
1198
01:06:29.976 –> 01:06:30.416
my mom.
1199
01:06:31.316 –> 01:06:34.636
She knew this night was temporary and that someday we would get back home.
1200
01:06:35.056 –> 01:06:38.956
And yet, she also knew that this was a heartbreaking turning point of the
1201
01:06:38.996 –> 01:06:42.736
rest of our lives. She was pregnant at the time, and with three kids in
1202
01:06:42.836 –> 01:06:45.996
tow, she was beginning her story as a single mom of four.
1203
01:06:46.668 –> 01:06:47.108
Some of us-
1204
01:06:47.868 –> 01:06:51.828
Okay, so there’s takeaways on the purpose of the story, but then
1205
01:06:51.868 –> 01:06:53.348
it easily quickly goes into-
1206
01:06:53.378 –> 01:06:53.708
The fringe
1207
01:06:53.968 –> 01:06:55.588
… different stages. Can applications freeze?
1208
01:06:55.628 –> 01:06:59.068
From their path to employment, health challenges to disabilities,
1209
01:06:59.548 –> 01:07:00.108
lockdown dr-
1210
01:07:01.128 –> 01:07:04.848
And different stages, different places, it comes back to me from time to
1211
01:07:04.888 –> 01:07:08.808
time. But this video, like I
1212
01:07:08.848 –> 01:07:12.608
said, has made me more money than any speaker reel ever
1213
01:07:12.668 –> 01:07:15.708
has, and it actually has cost me the same.
1214
01:07:16.448 –> 01:07:19.758
So I don’t know what you have spent over the years for speaker reels.
1215
01:07:19.828 –> 01:07:21.838
I don’t know how good your videographer is.
1216
01:07:22.148 –> 01:07:25.718
I’m happy to share mine because it was totally reasonable, but in the spirit of
1217
01:07:25.768 –> 01:07:29.448
open disclosure, this was about $2,500 to do.
1218
01:07:29.488 –> 01:07:32.948
It included the time in the studio.
1219
01:07:32.988 –> 01:07:36.768
It included the dramatization part, which we filmed
1220
01:07:36.828 –> 01:07:38.628
lots of different pieces of that story.
1221
01:07:39.428 –> 01:07:43.248
And it included him editing it all in with my other pieces
1222
01:07:43.388 –> 01:07:44.028
and my other
1223
01:07:44.868 –> 01:07:46.148
speaking engagements as well.
1224
01:07:47.108 –> 01:07:47.708
But
1225
01:07:49.428 –> 01:07:52.848
this is how I use my stories to make money, and I actually have a couple of these
1226
01:07:52.928 –> 01:07:55.498
now. So there’s one for my award-winning story
1227
01:07:56.468 –> 01:07:59.168
with the starter homes and starter husbands, and there’s one for this.
1228
01:07:59.208 –> 01:08:02.348
And one of the reasons why I love it is because people will share it.
1229
01:08:02.848 –> 01:08:06.808
Nobody ever shared my speaker reel, but people share my stories
1230
01:08:07.048 –> 01:08:10.908
regularly. They’re like, “This is a funny story.” And then they’re doing the work
1231
01:08:10.988 –> 01:08:13.948
for me. They’re sharing it with their audience. I get the aggregate marketing.
1232
01:08:14.108 –> 01:08:16.728
Not a soul has ever said, “Look at Michelle’s speaker reel.
1233
01:08:16.808 –> 01:08:20.748
It is so good.” And I still make speaker reels because
1234
01:08:20.808 –> 01:08:24.268
speakers bureaus want them, and I still put them out, and it pains me because
1235
01:08:24.308 –> 01:08:25.838
nobody ever watches them or cares.
1236
01:08:25.888 –> 01:08:27.468
I get my speaker friends saying, “Good job, Michelle.
1237
01:08:27.508 –> 01:08:30.188
That’s really nice.” But my speaker friends aren’t the ones who are really making
1238
01:08:30.208 –> 01:08:33.398
me money. And so turning my stories
1239
01:08:33.449 –> 01:08:36.369
into speaker reels has made all the difference.
1240
01:08:36.779 –> 01:08:40.418
The other thing that I have with these stories is those are the public-facing
1241
01:08:40.489 –> 01:08:43.428
ones. The other thing that I have with my stories is
1242
01:08:44.728 –> 01:08:46.808
I have a version of the story by itself.
1243
01:08:46.869 –> 01:08:50.529
So sometimes when I’m doing virtual presentations, I will play a story.
1244
01:08:51.068 –> 01:08:54.848
Like if I know I can’t get the point across for what I’m
1245
01:08:54.888 –> 01:08:58.829
doing, if I’m looking at thousands of people, I will actually play a version
1246
01:08:58.869 –> 01:09:01.968
of the story and I’ll say, “Hey, I want you to take a look at this, and then we’ll
1247
01:09:02.008 –> 01:09:05.989
talk about it.” And then I play the story itself because I
1248
01:09:06.029 –> 01:09:09.718
want to be able to portray things that I can’t portray in a tiny box when I don’t
1249
01:09:09.768 –> 01:09:11.878
have a stage and I can’t move things.
1250
01:09:11.928 –> 01:09:14.949
And I didn’t do that today because I wanted to do some live elements, but it does
1251
01:09:15.008 –> 01:09:17.788
give you the option that if you have a really great story that just doesn’t
1252
01:09:17.848 –> 01:09:21.718
translate virtually, that it’s worth it to record it and to add in
1253
01:09:21.748 –> 01:09:24.068
other pieces. And I can choose how much of it is me.
1254
01:09:24.478 –> 01:09:26.308
I can choose how much of it is me on a stage.
1255
01:09:26.428 –> 01:09:28.568
I can choose how much of it is me in the studio.
1256
01:09:28.668 –> 01:09:31.888
I can choose how much of it is the dramatization or not use any of that.
1257
01:09:31.909 –> 01:09:34.568
But it does give me a lot more flexibility.
1258
01:09:34.708 –> 01:09:38.308
So I learned that from Clint, and Clint
1259
01:09:39.348 –> 01:09:43.248
told me to do it for four years, and then when I finally did it in 2019, I
1260
01:09:43.288 –> 01:09:46.468
was like, “Oh my goodness. I don’t know if I can spend that much money on it.” He
1261
01:09:46.548 –> 01:09:49.008
spent way more than I did. His was five figures.
1262
01:09:50.568 –> 01:09:54.528
But I’ve made
1263
01:09:54.548 –> 01:09:58.508
more money on that video, that plastic bag video, than any of my other speaker
1264
01:09:58.528 –> 01:10:00.918
reels combined, and it was worth every penny.
1265
01:10:01.068 –> 01:10:03.597
I calculated the other day that I’ve probably made about
1266
01:10:03.597 –> 01:10:07.268
$120,000 off of that video. And so it was
1267
01:10:07.308 –> 01:10:10.508
worth the $2,500 to do it, absolutely.
1268
01:10:10.548 –> 01:10:14.488
And yes, it was a big expense, and it was hard to
1269
01:10:14.548 –> 01:10:18.408
do, and it’s a big expense again. Like I had to do it again when I did the
1270
01:10:18.688 –> 01:10:21.007
ex-husband moves in across the street story.
1271
01:10:21.208 –> 01:10:25.018
But I did one in 2019. I did one in 2024,
1272
01:10:25.148 –> 01:10:29.068
and I don’t regret a single minute to video-fy my stories for all
1273
01:10:29.088 –> 01:10:32.508
the reasons that I shared. So that’s the way that my stories make me money.
1274
01:10:32.668 –> 01:10:36.208
When you have a good signature story, and some of you might say, “Well, I was
1275
01:10:36.248 –> 01:10:39.728
climbing Mount Everest, and I can’t get footage of that.” There are other ways to
1276
01:10:39.748 –> 01:10:43.588
do that. Find ways to put it together or choose which
1277
01:10:43.628 –> 01:10:45.548
stories you’re going to tell to make it work.
1278
01:10:45.608 –> 01:10:49.308
We’re currently working on the story of me on a cruise
1279
01:10:49.368 –> 01:10:49.628
ship,
1280
01:10:50.848 –> 01:10:54.568
and that one is harder to do because I’m not on a
1281
01:10:54.608 –> 01:10:58.588
cruise ship, but I can do it in a small bar and get some
1282
01:10:58.628 –> 01:11:01.528
of the other points across, but it’s tricky, but that’s what I’m working on because
1283
01:11:01.648 –> 01:11:02.988
I know that that makes a difference.
1284
01:11:03.127 –> 01:11:06.988
And the funny part about the Karen story, which is
1285
01:11:07.028 –> 01:11:10.388
why I bring up Karen liking this video, is that Karen saw me telling the starter
1286
01:11:10.408 –> 01:11:11.718
homes and starter husband story
1287
01:11:13.468 –> 01:11:16.708
live, and she’s told me how much she loves that story and how much she enjoyed
1288
01:11:16.748 –> 01:11:20.628
watching me do it, but she didn’t ask me to do this until she saw my plastic
1289
01:11:20.688 –> 01:11:21.628
bag principle story.
1290
01:11:23.828 –> 01:11:24.528
And I don’t-
1291
01:11:24.608 –> 01:11:28.448
I was fascinated. I sat there, and I went, “Oh my God,” because it
1292
01:11:28.488 –> 01:11:31.688
hit on so many levels. I just sat there, and I
1293
01:11:32.408 –> 01:11:35.898
was blown away. And then I wondered, does she use this?
1294
01:11:36.508 –> 01:11:40.108
And now I know you do. I didn’t know. But yes, you’re exactly right.
1295
01:11:40.208 –> 01:11:44.098
So the other part that I want you to hear about that is the longevity- …
1296
01:11:44.148 –> 01:11:47.628
of story videos. That I made that story video in
1297
01:11:47.768 –> 01:11:50.428
2019, and I’ve done one update, and so if you go and look at it,
1298
01:11:51.628 –> 01:11:55.508
my hair changed dramatically, and I had to change that video
1299
01:11:55.568 –> 01:11:58.128
because people were like, “I can’t believe it. You have these long hair now.
1300
01:11:58.188 –> 01:12:02.048
Why are you… And is that the same person?” And so I had to actually redo that
1301
01:12:02.068 –> 01:12:05.978
video later. But that video story from 2019 is
1302
01:12:06.008 –> 01:12:09.668
making connections for me in 2026.
1303
01:12:10.468 –> 01:12:14.378
So stories done well, told well, and preserved well
1304
01:12:14.378 –> 01:12:18.108
will actually last much longer. I’ve done seven speaker reels
1305
01:12:18.168 –> 01:12:21.848
between now and 2019. But that story done,
1306
01:12:21.908 –> 01:12:24.938
told, and it could be told better. It is not perfect, 100%.
1307
01:12:24.948 –> 01:12:28.028
There are ways that that story could be better, 100%.
1308
01:12:28.088 –> 01:12:31.688
I’m not saying it’s perfect. But your stories can actually make you money
1309
01:12:31.848 –> 01:12:32.088
long
1310
01:12:33.148 –> 01:12:36.088
after your speaker reels because your speaker reels have to stay relevant.
1311
01:12:36.128 –> 01:12:38.888
The footage starts to look old. You want to bring other things in.
1312
01:12:38.908 –> 01:12:42.488
And even though that footage is old from stages I haven’t been in in a long
1313
01:12:42.528 –> 01:12:45.628
time, I still make money on the plastic bag principle video.
1314
01:12:46.178 –> 01:12:50.138
And so when people talk about telling stories and that putting stories
1315
01:12:50.268 –> 01:12:54.228
in your speeches is just about putting stories in your speeches, it’s so much more.
1316
01:12:54.538 –> 01:12:58.468
Stories are the way for you to build your speaking empire, and when done well and
1317
01:12:58.488 –> 01:13:02.208
with strategy, it can actually be the number one way you make money.
1318
01:13:02.908 –> 01:13:04.568
Okay, there’s a question here and here.
1319
01:13:04.908 –> 01:13:08.508
Is there a specific language meeting planners share that is the
1320
01:13:08.548 –> 01:13:10.608
direct clue that they watched it? Yes.
1321
01:13:11.108 –> 01:13:13.108
They will say, “I found your plastic bag
1322
01:13:13.128 –> 01:13:17.040
video.”And some of them will say, “I saw your
1323
01:13:18.340 –> 01:13:22.150
ex-husband video,” but honestly, most people are still saying to me, “I found your
1324
01:13:22.200 –> 01:13:23.060
plastic bag video.”
1325
01:13:23.940 –> 01:13:27.700
And interesting how algorithms work, if somebody finds it either on
1326
01:13:27.740 –> 01:13:30.990
Facebook or on LinkedIn, it actually gets a little
1327
01:13:31.020 –> 01:13:34.299
resurgence. Like, they watch it for a little bit, and I can see it.
1328
01:13:34.340 –> 01:13:37.780
So I’ve actually had a couple people say, “Hey, I saw your plastic bag video show
1329
01:13:37.840 –> 01:13:41.810
up because Karen found it, and Karen was watching it, and Karen was doing due
1330
01:13:41.900 –> 01:13:45.690
diligence on me.” And so every time somebody does, that makes a big difference, and
1331
01:13:45.740 –> 01:13:49.540
it becomes relevant again. I have re-shared it before, so
1332
01:13:49.660 –> 01:13:50.700
sometimes I will say,
1333
01:13:51.580 –> 01:13:55.300
that video came out in November of 2019, and I will say in
1334
01:13:55.320 –> 01:13:56.910
November, sometimes I will re-share it.
1335
01:13:56.980 –> 01:13:59.680
I don’t do it every November because that’s dumb, but I’ll just say, “I can’t
1336
01:13:59.700 –> 01:14:03.270
believe this one little video changed my speaking business,” and I’m
1337
01:14:03.280 –> 01:14:06.500
celebrating. This year I’ll be able to say, “I’m celebrating
1338
01:14:07.080 –> 01:14:09.840
six years, seven years with that video.” I can’t do math on the fly.
1339
01:14:09.880 –> 01:14:13.300
It makes me sweaty, so forgive me. Sorry, Ava, you’re doing math right there, and I
1340
01:14:13.320 –> 01:14:14.360
know you are, and that’s fine.
1341
01:14:14.620 –> 01:14:18.520
So sometimes I will re-share
1342
01:14:18.580 –> 01:14:22.320
it just for it to get a new surgence, but I will post the video
1343
01:14:23.720 –> 01:14:26.260
natively again. I won’t re-share a link.
1344
01:14:27.220 –> 01:14:31.160
I will share the video straight into
1345
01:14:31.200 –> 01:14:34.820
LinkedIn or share the video straight into Facebook.
1346
01:14:34.880 –> 01:14:37.000
I never share a link to an external source.
1347
01:14:37.420 –> 01:14:40.880
So Clint did a really good job of getting millions of views on his video on
1348
01:14:41.360 –> 01:14:44.140
YouTube, and I haven’t been able to do that, but I have figured out how to get
1349
01:14:44.200 –> 01:14:48.160
millions of views on social media through sharing it through different times.
1350
01:14:49.040 –> 01:14:50.980
I’m just going to jump right in here.
1351
01:14:51.480 –> 01:14:55.200
So were you the director of all of this or did you
1352
01:14:55.260 –> 01:14:56.720
do this-
1353
01:14:57.580 –> 01:14:57.880
Yes
1354
01:14:57.960 –> 01:14:59.760
… with the team?
1355
01:15:00.300 –> 01:15:03.660
Yes. I had a videographer. I storyboarded it and showed him what I wanted-
1356
01:15:03.820 –> 01:15:03.830
Okay
1357
01:15:03.830 –> 01:15:05.060
… before we started to film.
1358
01:15:05.100 –> 01:15:06.150
You storyboarded it? Is that what you said?
1359
01:15:06.160 –> 01:15:10.040
And I said, “Here’s what I want to do.” And gratefully, my videographer is
1360
01:15:10.120 –> 01:15:13.580
awesome. He has seen me speak multiple times.
1361
01:15:13.660 –> 01:15:16.940
He’s seen me share this story multiple times, and so it was really great to
1362
01:15:16.980 –> 01:15:20.780
collaborate with him on that. But really it was me creating the
1363
01:15:20.840 –> 01:15:23.500
storyboard saying, “Here are the three locations that we need to film.
1364
01:15:23.540 –> 01:15:24.429
Here’s what we need to film.”
1365
01:15:25.070 –> 01:15:25.070
Okay.
1366
01:15:26.260 –> 01:15:28.550
But we filmed it all in two hours.
1367
01:15:28.980 –> 01:15:30.530
And you used your videographer?
1368
01:15:30.940 –> 01:15:33.160
I used my videographer. We filmed it all in two hours.
1369
01:15:33.200 –> 01:15:34.660
And you rented a studio, too?
1370
01:15:35.740 –> 01:15:37.500
He has a studio, so luckily-
1371
01:15:37.620 –> 01:15:37.630
Yes. Okay
1372
01:15:37.630 –> 01:15:38.480
… that was easy.
1373
01:15:38.500 –> 01:15:38.510
Okay.
1374
01:15:38.560 –> 01:15:41.760
I could just use his studio for that, and that was part of my package.
1375
01:15:42.520 –> 01:15:45.709
Did he ever do this before, or you two are doing it together?
1376
01:15:45.709 –> 01:15:48.620
It was his first, but he’s done a lot of other things.
1377
01:15:48.850 –> 01:15:48.850
Okay.
1378
01:15:48.860 –> 01:15:52.830
But I will also say that I have been telling my chapter in the NSA Mountain
1379
01:15:52.880 –> 01:15:56.790
West chapter, the best chapter in NSA, if I may be so bold,
1380
01:15:57.340 –> 01:16:01.230
and no one else has done it. Like, maybe one or two people that I know
1381
01:16:01.280 –> 01:16:03.959
that I have said, “This has made me the most money,” and I’ve shaken them about the
1382
01:16:04.010 –> 01:16:07.500
head and shoulders, and they just don’t do it, which is fine, but there you go.
1383
01:16:10.080 –> 01:16:10.980
Let’s see.
1384
01:16:11.800 –> 01:16:12.320
Jasmin?
1385
01:16:15.240 –> 01:16:15.980
Yes, I’ve skipped some
1386
01:16:17.460 –> 01:16:17.950
questions.
1387
01:16:18.020 –> 01:16:20.540
Yeah, I just put them in the chat. So two quick questions.
1388
01:16:21.000 –> 01:16:22.020
One, could you talk about
1389
01:16:23.140 –> 01:16:25.860
how you practice your stories? Because I practice in front of my husband, and he’s
1390
01:16:25.880 –> 01:16:29.820
like, “Oh, that’s great.” But what context do you give people or
1391
01:16:30.120 –> 01:16:33.980
et cetera? And then I know because Clint actually spoke at the best
1392
01:16:34.740 –> 01:16:37.880
chapter in NSA- … I think Minnesota, in December.
1393
01:16:38.480 –> 01:16:38.489
Uh-huh.
1394
01:16:38.500 –> 01:16:42.320
And he talked about the video via your story, but I understand that a major
1395
01:16:42.360 –> 01:16:45.820
brand has stolen that story, and he’s in litigation.
1396
01:16:45.850 –> 01:16:49.740
Have you had any terrible things? I know we shouldn’t worry
1397
01:16:49.780 –> 01:16:53.640
about that, and I think it’s a compliment that this brand stole his story, but…
1398
01:16:53.900 –> 01:16:57.300
Yeah. I’ve heard a little bit about that, and that is absolutely
1399
01:16:57.340 –> 01:17:00.730
tragic that it’s happening. But at the end of the day,
1400
01:17:02.480 –> 01:17:02.489
I
1401
01:17:03.920 –> 01:17:07.340
have had lots of people steal my stories over the course of time, whether it’s from
1402
01:17:07.380 –> 01:17:09.160
a video or I have
1403
01:17:10.220 –> 01:17:13.960
a story, you guys are like, “How do you have all these stories?” But I make money
1404
01:17:14.020 –> 01:17:17.020
off of my most embarrassing moments, and I’m not ashamed to say it.
1405
01:17:17.520 –> 01:17:19.360
But I have a story that I tell about
1406
01:17:20.240 –> 01:17:24.230
rollerblading and running into a telephone booth to stop myself because I
1407
01:17:24.240 –> 01:17:26.560
was going down a hill, and I didn’t know how to stop on rollerblades.
1408
01:17:27.280 –> 01:17:29.580
And I went to an event where someone told that story.
1409
01:17:30.740 –> 01:17:31.260
And I
1410
01:17:32.080 –> 01:17:35.260
went up to them afterwards and said, “Oh, hey, where did that happen?” And
1411
01:17:36.520 –> 01:17:38.640
what was funny is it had been told to them.
1412
01:17:39.700 –> 01:17:43.480
So it took a long time for them to admit that they had heard it from somewhere
1413
01:17:43.560 –> 01:17:46.320
else because they’re like, “Oh, it just happened to me one time when I was…”
1414
01:17:47.480 –> 01:17:51.080
But the detail and the things that they chose to share about it were
1415
01:17:51.140 –> 01:17:55.080
unmistakably my story. The irony is that somebody in the room had seen
1416
01:17:55.120 –> 01:17:56.900
me tell the story, and they told me I stole it.
1417
01:17:58.140 –> 01:18:00.840
They’re like, “I can’t believe you’re telling her story.”
1418
01:18:00.849 –> 01:18:00.849
Wow.
1419
01:18:01.680 –> 01:18:05.610
But that’s honestly to me one reason why I video via my stories, and I
1420
01:18:05.640 –> 01:18:09.290
put them out with my name and my usage, and I can go back and tell you the first
1421
01:18:09.360 –> 01:18:11.419
date in November where I told that story.
1422
01:18:11.440 –> 01:18:15.260
And whether or not you choose to go into litigation or
1423
01:18:15.300 –> 01:18:18.400
fight people on it is different. I have had some other people pick it up and share
1424
01:18:18.480 –> 01:18:21.520
it on their platforms, but to me, that’s great.
1425
01:18:21.620 –> 01:18:23.860
Share it all you want, as long as you’re putting my picture on it.
1426
01:18:26.640 –> 01:18:27.530
Okay. We have about,
1427
01:18:28.500 –> 01:18:32.320
let’s say five minutes, guys, because I have a call coming at 2:30,
1428
01:18:32.820 –> 01:18:34.180
excuse me, at 1:30. So-
1429
01:18:35.580 –> 01:18:35.590
Sure
1430
01:18:35.590 –> 01:18:39.240
… Carl, one more, or would you like to wrap it up, Michelle?
1431
01:18:39.340 –> 01:18:43.140
I’m good to take one more if you want, and I’ll just respond to crickets here
1432
01:18:43.220 –> 01:18:44.780
in the chat.
1433
01:18:44.860 –> 01:18:45.180
Okay.
1434
01:18:45.200 –> 01:18:48.800
Yep. So real quick, thank you, Michelle, for everything here today.
1435
01:18:48.860 –> 01:18:52.710
Fantastic. Also, can you say a little more, so you shared it
1436
01:18:52.800 –> 01:18:54.420
out on… How do you make this visible?
1437
01:18:54.470 –> 01:18:57.180
It’s made you a lot of money, obviously, because it’s become visible.
1438
01:18:57.280 –> 01:18:59.700
It’s LinkedIn, Facebook, anything more YouTube?
1439
01:19:00.180 –> 01:19:01.000
Anything more than
1440
01:19:02.060 –> 01:19:05.500
those things, or do you have it in an email where it
1441
01:19:05.560 –> 01:19:06.100
plays?
1442
01:19:06.748 –> 01:19:09.228
And you send that email around too? Could you talk about that, please?
1443
01:19:09.508 –> 01:19:13.448
Yes. I just sent it everywhere. So my whole audience got it. I emailed it off.
1444
01:19:14.248 –> 01:19:18.008
I also, whenever I have a new video goes out, I send out something in the
1445
01:19:18.048 –> 01:19:21.308
mail. I send a postcard to all past clients.
1446
01:19:21.428 –> 01:19:25.198
I send a postcard to people who I think might book me sometime, and I’ll say,
1447
01:19:25.288 –> 01:19:26.848
“Hey, I’ve got a new video that just dropped.
1448
01:19:26.868 –> 01:19:30.828
Click this QR code and watch it.” So I send a physical mailing off
1449
01:19:30.868 –> 01:19:34.348
as well, and then I upload it, and like I said, I upload it
1450
01:19:34.428 –> 01:19:38.328
natively to every platform. So I upload it to Facebook from the original video
1451
01:19:38.348 –> 01:19:42.217
file. I upload it to LinkedIn. I do upload it to the YouTube, but
1452
01:19:42.448 –> 01:19:45.558
I focus on getting it… And what’s funny is people will watch it and say, “This is
1453
01:19:45.568 –> 01:19:46.698
the best story,” and then they share it.
1454
01:19:47.008 –> 01:19:50.868
And I’ve had 400 shares on the plastic bag
1455
01:19:50.948 –> 01:19:54.868
video and about 100 shares on the starter homes and starter
1456
01:19:54.878 –> 01:19:58.418
husbands. I didn’t like how that one turned out in the same way, so I don’t share
1457
01:19:58.468 –> 01:20:02.418
it as much. I am still working on fixing that video, but I had to get
1458
01:20:02.468 –> 01:20:05.448
that one out really fast for something that was happening, and so I have to decide
1459
01:20:05.508 –> 01:20:09.388
if I want to go back and do it. But I would say if you choose to do this, then you
1460
01:20:09.488 –> 01:20:12.328
also choose to share it everywhere. And then share it frequently.
1461
01:20:12.368 –> 01:20:13.868
Find a way to share it again.
1462
01:20:15.288 –> 01:20:16.248
I reached out. I
1463
01:20:17.068 –> 01:20:21.048
didn’t ask, but the next chapter event, somebody said, “Oh my gosh, Michelle made
1464
01:20:21.068 –> 01:20:24.268
the best video. We should show it.” And so my chapter showed it to
1465
01:20:24.368 –> 01:20:28.348
125 people in the room that day, and that was really great, but I still have
1466
01:20:28.388 –> 01:20:32.268
my chapter sharing it. I still use it as an example for
1467
01:20:32.408 –> 01:20:36.328
good storytelling, and so as often as I can, I will figure out a
1468
01:20:36.368 –> 01:20:37.588
way to put that out there.
1469
01:20:39.808 –> 01:20:40.267
And it’s a great-
1470
01:20:40.278 –> 01:20:43.268
We have some great storytellers in this listening right now.
1471
01:20:44.248 –> 01:20:45.148
Michelle and Sylvia.
1472
01:20:45.428 –> 01:20:45.718
Yeah. Those are amazing.
1473
01:20:45.748 –> 01:20:49.148
You guys, I’m just thinking of you right off the top of my head.
1474
01:20:49.788 –> 01:20:50.688
I just think this is
1475
01:20:52.348 –> 01:20:53.468
something you should do.
1476
01:20:54.808 –> 01:20:57.148
No, this is a game changer.
1477
01:20:57.158 –> 01:20:57.158
Yes.
1478
01:20:57.188 –> 01:21:00.238
Michelle, what you shared today, the content is,
1479
01:21:00.308 –> 01:21:04.128
I don’t even have words for, because it hits home in so
1480
01:21:04.228 –> 01:21:08.058
many ways for me personally. And so just to hear you share your
1481
01:21:08.088 –> 01:21:12.058
content, and then this was the icing on the cake, you making this
1482
01:21:12.508 –> 01:21:14.908
video, that’s a whole nother thing.
1483
01:21:14.948 –> 01:21:17.118
But thank you so much. Thank you.
1484
01:21:17.118 –> 01:21:20.857
You’re welcome. The last thing that I’ll share about that is I also don’t think
1485
01:21:20.908 –> 01:21:23.388
that I’m a good, better, best speaker.
1486
01:21:23.808 –> 01:21:27.168
If you can go and make a storytelling video right now, go do it.
1487
01:21:27.308 –> 01:21:28.028
If you can’t,
1488
01:21:28.868 –> 01:21:32.828
open up your phone and tell a story and put it out on social media,
1489
01:21:33.438 –> 01:21:37.008
and just you to camera is a really great way to share
1490
01:21:37.068 –> 01:21:40.878
stories that can get shared. Even if it’s not going to get shared 400 times or get
1491
01:21:41.108 –> 01:21:45.088
3 million views, telling a story, when I’m doing just that, I will
1492
01:21:45.128 –> 01:21:48.978
do it in 60 seconds. I will tell a quick story in 60 seconds,
1493
01:21:49.048 –> 01:21:50.948
just say, “Hey, I had this experience that happened to me.
1494
01:21:51.008 –> 01:21:53.118
Maybe you can relate.” And I will share a story.
1495
01:21:53.168 –> 01:21:55.468
But then those stories also get shared too.
1496
01:21:55.528 –> 01:21:59.438
So the power of storytelling is not just about your big signature stories, but
1497
01:21:59.528 –> 01:22:03.288
also how you use story for people to know who you are and what you
1498
01:22:03.328 –> 01:22:06.658
do, and to share your messages. Because sometimes we share tips and advice and
1499
01:22:06.688 –> 01:22:09.908
information, but it’s the stories that really move the needle.
1500
01:22:09.948 –> 01:22:12.128
So even just you to camera is great.
1501
01:22:14.648 –> 01:22:17.628
Thank you. This is fabulous. Fabulous.
1502
01:22:18.288 –> 01:22:21.048
Thank you so much. Yes.
1503
01:22:21.058 –> 01:22:22.768
Thanks for having me, Karen. You’re the best.
1504
01:22:23.188 –> 01:22:23.658
No, you’re the best.
1505
01:22:23.658 –> 01:22:24.288
Standing ovation.
1506
01:22:24.848 –> 01:22:26.728
You’re the best. And this will be
1507
01:22:27.828 –> 01:22:31.268
one of the golden ones. Thank you. This was really good.
1508
01:22:31.548 –> 01:22:31.718
Oh, good.
1509
01:22:31.718 –> 01:22:32.068
Thank you.
1510
01:22:32.128 –> 01:22:35.208
Good. I’m happy to help. And if you have any questions, I’m here and around, so
1511
01:22:35.628 –> 01:22:36.548
reach out. I’m happy to help.
1512
01:22:37.348 –> 01:22:37.988
We love you.
1513
01:22:38.748 –> 01:22:39.268
Love you too.
1514
01:22:40.768 –> 01:22:41.608
Thank you.
1515
01:22:42.308 –> 01:22:44.208
Bye, everybody. I got another call.
1516
01:22:44.708 –> 01:22:45.378
Thank you, Karen.
1517
01:22:45.378 –> 01:22:45.988
Thank you. Bye-bye.
1518
01:22:46.508 –> 01:22:46.818
Bye-bye.
1519
01:22:46.818 –> 01:22:46.848
Bye.
1520
01:22:48.628 –> 01:22:49.048
Love it.n
1521
01:22:50.028 –> 01:22:50.808
Thank you, Michelle.
